Random Thoughts on "Frou Frou" Weddings...

Dumb Dumb du Dumb...that's how I feel about elaborate, extravagant, over-the-top, leave you in debt weddings! Don't get me wrong, I love TLC's Platinum Weddings as much as the next chick but I can not imagine dropping $10K, $15K, or the national average of $28K (OMG!!!) on one day! This is not a judgment of those who have had large weddings and spent that kind of money. I just can't stop thinking about my student loans and car payment and the fact that I don't even own a home.

I believe the wedding industry, like most other industries these days, have romanticized American life and created this notion that the more you spend, the happier you'll be. They like to push the idea that it's the only day you get to dress up like a princess and have a 4-tier vanilla buttercream cake with a sparkly initial topper while dancing on a dance floor lit with your customized monogram as your 300 guests dine on a 5-course meal at a table with custom centerpieces made from special roses flown in from Ecuador! What happened to the days of getting married at the church and having a cake and punch reception in the little hall downstairs? My grandmother married my grandfather at the courthouse and they were thrown a dinner at a friend's house later that evening. They stayed married until my grandfather passed a few years ago. I asked her why they didn't have a wedding and she said it was partly due to it being the second marriage for both and partly to save money. But she did not have a wedding the first time and neither did he. My aunt and uncle eloped to the JOP also and while they were here this Thanksgiving I asked her if she regretted not having a wedding. She said absolutely not! They have been married for 40 years. My boyfriend was recently in a wedding and a few months before that we went out with the couple and some other friends to dinner. They were talking about their weddings, the other couple was already married, and they all said to elope! The stress of planning along with the chunks of money spent of invitations, locations, etc was apparently not worth the magic of the one dream day. I told my boyfriend to ask the groom after the wedding if he would still advise eloping. He did. Surprise surprise.

I guess the bottom line is if you have it and wanna spend it go right ahead. But if you don't really have it but wanna spend it just to look like you have it and because it is what you always dreamed of, you might want to reconsider. Don't throw reason out the door just because a bloodthirsty wedding consultant with dollar signs in her eyes tells you this is your one special day and you deserve it. Take some deep breaths and refocus. House or wedding? No student loan debt or maxed out credit cards? I know many people who have had lovely low-key weddings that left them just as married as anyone else but with money left over to start their lives together. Just food for thought.

If you were a bride and had a big wedding, did you regret anything? Would you do it again? If you had a small wedding or planned on a tight budget how did you do it?