Back At It...Albeit a Few Hairs Short!

Hi everyone! I have to say thank you for your patience in my absence. I had no idea how long I intended to be away but I sincerely appreciate all of you for hanging around! Being a mom is amazing and a LOT of hard work! So many new things to learn and I am finally starting to feel confident in my abilities. I love my baby boy and it is true what they say, EVERYTHING changes once you have a kid. Finally, welcome to all the new folks who have joined the site! I never dreamed when I started that anyone besides my mom would care to read what I had to say, let alone 1000+ followers, and I am humbled and flattered. Thank you all!

Speaking of changes, I am still adjusting to my new schedule, my new body, and my new hairline. Of all the things pregnancy and childbirth did to my physical appearance, hair loss was not one I seriously anticipated. I think we've all heard of post-partum hair shedding but I had no idea I would see clumps of hair literally fall out in my hands! Every time I wash I lose a significant amount of hair and it kinda freaks me out! I have always had so much hair, did not notice any real change during pregnancy, and didn't really expect to lose much after. Around month 3 post-partum, I noticed that things began to change.

I was taking down a set of mini twists that I'd had in for a few weeks. As I got to the ones framing my face, I noticed I was losing clumps of hair. I ran out of the bathroom with my hair in my hands, showing my husband in disbelief. "I'm BALD!", I screamed. Ok, well not really but I do have very short patches where my temples are. It's like a thin layer of peach fuzz is beginning to emerge but still quite see through!

My bday was last Friday and we went out on Saturday with the family to celebrate. Truthfully I had all but forgotten about the hair loss until I saw these pics:

(Pic 1- I got a cookbook! Is that a hint or something???

Pic 2- Blowing out the candle on my cupcake. I still have some pp weight to lose so portion control is my friend, lol)

I don't know if you can see but clearly I am missing some strands. I am not extremely bothered but I do plan on taking special care of these areas so I can increase growth. My plan includes eating healthy and continuing my prenatal vitamin (both are givens due to b'feeding), gentle styling, and massaging castor oil weekly into my scalp.

I perused YouTube to find some inspiration with the castor oil:

Seems like folks are getting good results. Hopefully after a few weeks these patchy parts will fill in! Out are tightly pulled back buns and puffs.

Have any of you ever experienced hair loss due to pregnancy or other causes? If so, what have you done to remedy it?

Taking a Break: UPDATE!

(photo taken in May; Hair: two strand twists done on blown out hair, lasted for about 5 weeks!)

Dear Naturally Leslie readers,

So after 7 lovely weeks with my baby boy, I returned to work today. It was tough. People tell you it is hard but you can't know until you experience it. Luckily, my son was being cared for by my husband who decided to take two weeks off. That made the transition back not so bad and I only called home a half a dozen times.

In terms of blog postings, I hope to get back in the swing of things at some point soon but I must request your patience as I get into this new routine. I am not one of those super bloggers who can have a baby, breastfeed, pump, take care of the little tot, and continue to post frequently without missing a beat. I need some time to adjust to this new phase and I am going to take it.

In the meantime, feel free to continue to comment as you wish as I will be able to moderate comments daily. Or, you can sit back and do nothing and just wait until I get back to posting! Either way, I appreciate your readership and support and I hope to return quickly. Also, you can email me topics you would like to see discussed here on Naturally Leslie in the future. I would rather do more posts about things than interest you but I need to know what those are! Send me an email to naturallyleslie@gmail.com.

Ok, off to bed. Take care and we'll see each other soon!

Love always,

Leslie

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UPDATE:

Hey there everybody! I apologize for being MIA for so long. Thank you for all your emails and comments in my absence. School just got out for the summer and I hope to get back to posting really soon. If you sent an email and it went unanswered, please accept my apologies and know that I did receive it. I have been somewhat "unplugged" if you will and have not done much related to the blog. Baby is almost 4 months ( on July 4) and I can say I feel pretty adjusted. We're still nursing about every 2-3 hrs around the clock so that is tough and part of the reason I have not braved adding anything else to my plate! I hope you continue to stick around and hopefully I can star posting again really soon. I appreciate all your support!

What's Your Opinion: Should the United States Be Bilingual?

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I just read an interesting article over on Latina.com and wanted to get your opinions. Here is an excerpt:

"The latest Census results released last week tell us that 1 in 6 people in the U.S. is Latino, and that Latino kids number just over 17 million, or 23 percent of the 17-and-under U.S. population..."

“I just feel like there’s no excuse to not speak Spanish,” she (Odette Yustman) said. "It’s like Canada — they’ve got English and French — that’s what we need to do.”

"Odette tells us she also plans to pass down Spanish to her kids one day. “It’s important because living in the U.S. it’s so easy for kids to forget the language because you go to school and the kids speak English...“I was so fortunate because I learned Spanish first, so that was my first language....You just gotta carry that on, ya know?" (Click here to read the article in its entirety.)

I love Spanish. I learned to speak Spanish in school. I even majored in Romance Languages concentrating in Spanish as an undergrad. My husband was raised in South America and my son will hopefully be bilingual as well. All that being said, do I think we need to be officially blingual in this country? I don't know. I do know that many people feel the US is English speaking only and always should be.

So, after reading the article, this raises two questions in my mind:

1) Should all Americans learn Spanish, become bilingual and willingly adopt Spanish as our national language (in addition to English)?

and

2) Are you any less latino/a if you don't speak Spanish?

You may think this issue does not apply to you if you are not hispanic/latino(a) but I think A) if you live in the USA you are well aware of the growing Spanish-speaking population and B)whether it be race, gender, sexuality or HAIR, we can all relate to issues of identity and image. For example, question 2 could easily be replaced with "Are you any less Black if you don't wear your hair in its natural state" or some other like phrase.

So what do you all think?

Click here to read an older post about Black-Latino Identity.

Updates on Motherhood...

Hello everyone! Over the weekend I officially became a mother! I cannot describe what an amazing journey the last three days have been and I know it will only get better. I am so happy and blessed to have a healthy, beautiful, perfect little boy. He arrived Friday afternoon at 3:48pm, weighing in at 6lbs 10oz, and just at 19 inches long.

I labored from Wednesday night at 7:10pm, making two trips to the hospital over the next day before being admitted on the third trip on Thursday night. I had never heard of prodromal labor before but I was having pretty regular and painful contractions that were not helping me advance through labor. So basically it felt like labor but technically wasn't because it was not helping me dilate. It was not until Thursday night around 11pm that I was considered in actual "real" labor by the doctor. Madness!

Long story short, by the time I was admitted I was exhausted and the pain had increased to a point where I decided to get an epidural. Turned out to be the right decision for me even though I had not originally planned for it. One thing I learned through this whole process was just how quickly the best laid plans can change and you have to adapt to the situation at hand. I don't feel guilty or disappointed at all and I am grateful the option was available. I really think it helped me be present through what turned out to be a somewhat difficult delivery considering baby was turned sunny-side up and endured a bit of stress to his heart.

After the epidural, according to my husband, I became human again! I labored and slept in peace for a few hours until it was time to push. I pushed for about an hour and a half beginning around 2:00pm. Immediately after I began pushing, the doctor commented on all the hair she saw! He had like 3 inches of shiny black hair and it was amazing to see! Unfortunately like I mentioned above, he was in a bit of distress because he was face up and struggling to pass through my pelvis. In the end, I was able to deliver without needing a c-section but I was not able to hold him immediately. Two specialists and a crew of amazing nurses came in and took care of him, watching his heart rate and his head which was squeezed pretty badly. After about fifteen minutes, I was told all was fine with my son. I was able to hold my little bundle and it was the best moment of relief and love. Everybody thinks their kid is perfect and I have proven to be no different!

Hanging with daddy

All the nurses and doctors at my hospital were beyond amazing to me, my husband, and our son. They took such good care of all three of us and helped us adjust to this new life as parents. I left feeling confident and prepared for the next phase and by Saturday evening they told us we could leave the next day when we felt comfortable.

Supplementing with mommy

The ride home!

We got home later the next morning to begin our new lives as a threesome and it has been worth the wait. To all the parents out there, I appreciate your advice so feel free to continue to share. Thank you to all my readers for your continued support and encouragement. I <3>

Baby Is On The Way!

Me and the belly in quieter, gentler moments...

Hi everybody! Just wanted to drop a quick note to say I am officially in labor, contractions began at around 7:30 and are now 6 minutes apart. I am still at home and doing fine. This is definitely not what I expected but I am actually enjoying the experience, as painful as it has been and will surely be in the hours to come. Thanks for all your support and comments. I don't know when I will post again or get to moderate comments so thank you for your patience!

A Birth Story: Afrikan Latina

Image Credit

This image is not from the reader mentioned below. Just a lovely mother-baby bonding moment I found online.

After this post from a few weeks ago, I received the following email and wanted to share with all of you. As I inch near my due date, March 10th, I have been trying to mentally prepare myself for the transformation that lies ahead. I went to the doctor last Friday and I am already 1 centimeter dilated and 60% effaced! So baby boy is well on his way to arrival and I expect him to make his debut within the next few weeks.

In my family there are three kids. It is a tradition that on our birthdays, somewhere after dinner and during the cake and ice cream, my mom tells the birth story. Each year she recounts the day she had us, depending on whose birthday it is. We all know each story by heart but we love hearing it again nonetheless. It is a tradition I hope to pass down to my little one and I hope I capture it as vividly as my mom always does!

This reader's birth story is so beautiful and encourages me as I gear up for the big day. I am so grateful that she shared it with me and has allowed me to share it with all of you. If anybody else has a birth story they would like to share here, please send it to me and I will post. You can also include a pic of your little one if you'd like! Thanks Afrikan Latina!

Enjoy...

Hi Leslie,

I first want to say congratulations on the new baby you and hubby will soon be welcoming into this world.I had a homebirth that was attended by 2 midwives and my husband. There were supposed to be 3 midwives but the 3rd made it right after our son was born. :) Anyway, I am a huge advocate for homebirth, breastfeeding, cloth diapering...lol all that good stuff and love talking about pregnancy (we are currently expecting our 2nd child in May) and birth and all things babies so if there are any questions that you might want to ask please feel free. I'm also seriously thinking about getting certified as a doula. Anyway, here is my birth story. :)


BIRTH STORY

I went to bed on Wednesday not feeling any different than I had felt in previous days. The spotting had stopped and I had reconciled that our little one was on his own time and any superstition that may have applied before went out the window. I woke up at 4:40am with what I thought could’ve just been some cramping but noticed that it was a pain that wasn’t constant. It came and went, came and went, and after a few of these I started to time them. They were about 7 minutes apart. I decide that maybe NOW would be a good time to take a shower because they definitely weren’t cramps and within the next however many hours we would have a baby!! The shower felt heavenly and I figured that I would be able to endure for a while before we needed to call our midwife. After getting out the shower I wake my snoozing hunny and let him know that I am having contractions. He gets up and starts to rub my back which worked wonders. The constant pressure on my lower back was nice. I call my sister and let her know that I am having what I think are contractions because I wanted at least one person in my family to know that our baby would be here soon. My hunny jumped in the shower so he could wash out the tub for me to labor in. Our tub is big enough that I didn’t find it necessary to rent one or buy a pool.

The contractions are still coming and my sister calls back around 6:20am to see how I’m doing. She asked how far apart my contractions were and I tell her 5 minutes. She’s like, “You should probably go ahead and call your midwife.” I hear her husband in the back ground say, “5 minutes!!!!” So my hunny calls one of our midwives who says she’s on the way. While we wait for her to arrive I am laboring both in the bed and on the toilet. That toilet was working wonders!! My babe is rubbing my back constantly. Cortney(one of our midwives) finally arrives and asks me the usual questions. She listens to the babys heartbeat and begins to time several of my contractions to see if they are constant because they began to become irregular going from 7 minutes, to 5 minutes, to 3 minutes. After she timed a few contractions I decided that it was time to get my butt in the water. The contractions instantly felt better after I got in the water. After being in the bathtub for quite some time my hunny comes in with the camcorder and ONLY because the contractions aren’t kicking my butt do I let him film me. So Cortney listens to the babys heartbeat again while I’m in the water and he’s still doing well. She sits on the bathroom floor and times some more contractions. I’ve avoided having her check to see how far dilated I am up until this point because I didn’t want to be disappointed if I was still in the same place an hour later.

After I get out the tub I’m again laboring back and forth between the toilet and our bed. I found that leaning over the side of the bed and having my hunny rub my back felt good. I was starting to feel quite tired and I hadn’t even done much work in the sense that it hadn’t been a hard labor. I wanted to try to lay down in the bed and labor but it didn’t feel comfortable at all. So more time passes and the contractions are getting closer together and more intense. We decide its finally time to check to see how dilated I am. This was pretty damn uncomfortable to say the least and caused the one of the WORST contractions that I had. She says, “You’re 5cm dilated.” I say, “YES!” and raise my hand to the maternal GODDESSES watching over me. I had no way of knowing how fast I would get to 10cm but 5cm sure sounded nice right then.

Within the hour it was time to migrate to the bed in our guest bedroom where all the stuff was setup. Cortney had previously told me to let her know when it felt like I had to poop but couldn’t and I’ll be damned if that’s not exactly what it felt like. I was back in the water when that urge to poop hit me so I lifted my butt up and leaned over the side of the tub. I said, “Baby go tell Cortney I feel like I have to go the bathroom.” She comes in and smiles and tells me I can get out of the tub after the current contraction stops. I get out of the tub and go to our bed where I have another contraction before going to the guest room.

Here is where the magic happens!! Lol I continue to get hit with contractions and still feel like I have to poop. My water has yet to break and I’m pushing. First push, my water bag makes an appearance. Second push, my water bag makes an even bigger appearance and you can see the baby as well. Third push, my water bag bursts (it got on my hunny) and out comes our baby’s head. With one more immediate push my baby is here and his cry was music to my ears. He was born at 11:07 weighing 6lbs 3 oz. and measuring at 19 inches.

I went from 5cm to 10cm within a hour! (Apparently that’s not expected of a first timer) I went through the motions of labor as if I were on my second child according to all 3 of my midwives. The 3rd midwife to arrive who was actually the “main” midwife got to our house as soon as Taj made his appearance. She was in awe. They didn’t expect that I would deliver so quickly. My perineum stayed in tact. YES!! I did have 2 small labia tears but no stitching or anything was necessary. They are healing nicely. Our baby is growing beautifully. Mommy and Daddy are beaming with excitement!!

A Beautiful Side Note

I found this post about model Miranda Kerr to be so beautiful and I wanted to share...

On the 6th of January I gave birth to our beautiful little son Flynn. He weighed 9lb 12 ounces (a very healthy and big baby boy). I gave birth to him naturally; without any pain medication and it was a long, arduous and difficult labour, but Orlando was with me the whole time supporting and guiding me through it. I could not have done it without him.~Miranda Kerr via her blog: www.koraorganics.com

This process of becoming a mother has been both a whirlwind and a long 8 months at the same time! We just took birthing classes a week or so ago and since then, I have been scouring the internet for information and videos about birthing naturally. Through the classes I realized that childbirth does not have to be the scary, impossible, terrifying process I once thought it would inevitably be, what society always tells us it will be. Yes, pain is a factor and it is, well, labor. But I realize now that this is what our bodies were made to do and we have everything inside of us that we need to do it. It has been amazing to learn about what birth can be and to allow myself to discard the untruths of what it is not.

I realized too far into this pregnancy that I would rather deliver at a birthing center than at a hospital. I would prefer to have a midwife and a doula and I plan to have a water birth if I have another child. Not to knock hospitals, though. I toured mine and I think I will like the experience as well. I just saw some of the most beautiful images of women bringing forth life as they used the water to help soothe the transition and it looked like something I want to experience in my journey through motherhood.

(The following video is one that I found in my search. It seemed very peaceful, yet powerful. If you don't want to see a natural childbirth, don't watch!)

In addition to birth, I can't wait to breastfeed! Well, at least I hope I am able to. I know so many women who struggle and simply are not able. I feel like I have a good foundation of knowledge from the courses I took and I have dreamed about it on several occasions. I'll have to keep my fingers crossed on that one!

Lastly, I know many of you are also mothers. I want to hear your birth experiences, if you care to share. Tell me what it was like for you to bring forth life and to nourish your little one. What were the highs, the lows, the unexpected moments?

Plans for 2011: Hair & Beyond...

Happy New Year wonderful Naturally Leslie readers! I hope you had a super safe and fun holiday season. I tried not to eat too much or spend too much but I must say I definitely indulged with the family when I could. It was so great to celebrate my grandmother's 90th birthday as well as my first Christmas with the hubby. It was also fun to see snow back in NC and I got to spend a lot of time with mom and some old friends.

I don't know about you all but 2011 promises to be a big year for me! I'll post some pics below to see if you can tell what's in store...

Maybe you can see in the puffy cheeks...

Or the expanding girls (ahem) and gut!!

Noooo it's not too much holdiay food. I am excited to share that the hubby and I are expecting our first little bundle of joy! He'll be making his debut in early March and I can't wait. I feel blessed to have had a great pregnancy thus far including the typical nausea at the beginning and feelings of uber chunkiness here near the end. In the pic above I'm painting letters to hang on the wall behind his crib. (I'd forgotten how much fun arts and crafts can be...not to mention soothing!)

With all the thoughts, fears, worries, anxieties, etc that come with impending motherhood, one thing I don't want to zap my time and energy is my hair! I posted earlier about the changes to my regimen and while they are working wonders for my hair, I can't imagine having a spare moment for my strands immediately following the birth. I would rather be cuddling my little boy than detangling and twisting!

In thinking about what I wanted to do with my hair for the delivery and first months of his life I thought back to my afro twists from 2009. I LOVED them but I also remember they were a bit bulky. That was cool at the time but I think I want to go with something a bit sleeker. When I was in 7th grade, I got box braids a la Janet Jackson from Poetic Justice. I think that is what I'm going to go with, albeit updated for 2011, for the birth and some time beyond.

I'm inspired by these looks:

I loved Jada's braids that she sported back in '09.

Solange recently rocked long braids for New Year's Eve. I love the look but won't go this long:

I plan on using the crown and glory method to take care of my hair while in the extensions. I will post more about that routine along with pics once I get my hair done a few weeks before my due date.

As for posting, I still want to share my trip to the Oyin store in Baltimore as well as my review of the products I purchased while there. Also, I would love to hear what is on your mind! There are so many blogs about hair and beauty nowadays that I would like to know what topics you all interested in. I am open for suggestions and ideas!

Finally, what are your plans for the new year? Did you make any resolutions for hair or beyond? Do share!

Love you guys! ;-)

~Les

Merry Christmas Eve and Happy 90th Grandma!

Publish Post
Hey everybody! I am back in NC with my family celebrating my grandmother's 90th birthday as well as Christmas Eve. How exciting to be home with the family! I wish you all a Merry Christmas and I hope you are safe no matter what your travel plans or traditions. I love all of you and am so grateful for your continued readership and support! Merry Christmas!

Are Your Natural Hair Purchases Making You Unhappy?

As someone who works in education, I don't make a lot of money. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining at all. I'm simply stating a fact. Having to live on a budget requires self-control and discipline. It means choosing between the brown boots or the grey boots instead of indulging in both. It also means limiting the products I buy for my face, body and especially my hair.

This got me thinking about how as Americans we live in a consumer-based culture. Simply put, we buy buy buy, consume consume consume, and that is what makes our economy go 'round. Every day some new gadget pops on the market, there is a new fashion trend to be hip to, and we are continually introduced to items promising to make our daily lives easier than ever before. I suppose there is nothing wrong with seeing shiny, new objects and lusting after them from time to time. But does buying them make you happy? Does that hole ever get filled? Are you really better off because you swiped the latest and greatest whatever off the shelves and carted it home?

I decided to google "consumer culture" to see what I could find. As I imagined the internet is littered with articles about the economy and how we Americans have become mindless consumers. I found one article in particular, however, that hit home to me. Entitled, Six Psychological Reasons Consumer Culture is Unsatisfying, it aims to break down why what we buy never feels like enough.

In thinking back over my own natural hair journey, I realized that I have fallen prey to many new products out there promising to do all sorts of things for my hair. It was very fun in the beginning to test out different potions and lotions, oils and creams for my newly kinky do. After all, we were just getting to know each other after decades of distance and I wanted to indulge in all that was available, hoping to find the perfect combo of products to meet all my hair's needs. There were so many choices though and sometimes that was frustrating. I can't tell you how many $5 and $10 (or more) I threw away after buying something that simply did not work or turned out to be less than awe inspiring to my tresses.

( I'm not knocking Sally's but....just say NO! I usually always come out of places like this with way more than I intended when I went in. Now I only venture inside if I have a specific list of things I need and don't allow myself to add anything to my cart that does not fit that description.)

So, after reading through the six reasons listed in this article, I thought I'd revamp them to apply to my own experiences with natural hair pj-ism. Here's what I came up with:

1. Products are easy to compare unfavorably -

With so many products promising to do similar things, it is almost impossible to avoid comparing what you just bought to the new almost-the-same-but-somehow-still-different product that comes out. I have gone through endless moisturizers and creams. I just threw away a few full-sized bottles a few days ago because of this ingredient or that scent. It kills me to know how much money I wasted on those!

2. A maximizing strategy leaves us less satisfied-

Basically, with so many options out there for hair products, sometimes it has been tempting to try everything that came my way so I could feel like I made the best decision for the care of my hair. Instead of sticking with a conditioner that I know works wonders, I felt the need to keep trying new ones thinking that that next bottle of creamy goodness would magically be better than the one that came before and solve my moisture, detangling, (you fill in the blank here) issues. It was as if I would be doing myself a disservice if I did not try as many things as possible before settling on one staple product. Somehow, however, I always keep coming back to the one I loved from the beginning.

3. Material purchases are more likely to be reevaluated-

How many times have I bought something good only to keep lurking online for alternatives? Plenty. It's like a maddening cycle of getting all excited the try the new thing, rushing out to buy it (or worse, spending an extra chunk of change to have it rush shipped because I have no patience to wait for things ordered online), then felt the familiar pang of disappointment when I see something similar out there, begging to be tried as well. Sadder than that is seeing that if I had only searched one site further I would have found it on sale, a few dollars cheaper, or with a free gift included. Way to make yourself feel like a lazy shopper!

4. The new option effect-

Along the same lines as mentioned above, every time I buy a new product, another one comes out that has been "re-formulated" or upgraded to have better ingredients, scents, or whatever! Knowing that re-inventing the wheel, slapping a prettier label on it and selling it all over again is one of the trademarks of marketing, it never fails to make you feel like you might be missing out on something if you don't ride the upgrade wave.

5. The reduced price effect and 6. A cheaper rival-

Pretty self explanatory but it hurts none the less...

So, do I say all this to pass judgement on you for doing the above things? No way! I myself am guilty as charged and lose no sleep admitting it. So what is my advice to myself ? Well, the last part of the article suggests we go for the experiential versus the new purchase. I guess in the natural hair world that means opting to spend your money more on the 'goings' and 'doings' and less on the latest bottle 'o goo. For example, I had a fab time at the natural hair show in Atlanta a few years back and have felt no sense of disappointment for going. It was a wonderful experience to see all that naturalness in one place! It was also super fun to try a beautiful cornrowed or twisted do for a few days/months back when I was in college and when I got my afro twists. I loved each and every natural hair meet-up I've been to (and those were free by the way!), not to mention I learned a lot and met cool people.

Bottom line- stick with the things that money can't always buy, like experiences (natural meet-ups, free info on blogs and sites, experimenting with friends to find new styles) and splurge every now and then when you just can't resist. Find your fab five product rotation (or less if you got it like that!) and don't sway from them every time the wind blows a new item your way. You'll likely find that you're happier when you do and not to mention you'll keep a bigger portion of that paycheck to spend or save for other things.

Reader Email: Fired for Being Natural

I received this email in my inbox from Jess of Sincerely Jess and wanted to share. I personally have never had issues professionally with my natural hair. I've worked in pharmacies (in high school and college), as a teacher and now as a school counselor. I've had temp jobs in corporate America. I've worn it long and bushy, in puffs, cornrows, two-strand twists, buns, straight, wavy, in wash-n-go's, and even short like the woman in the reader email below. I would be so livid about someone insinuating that my naturally growing hair is somehow inappropriate that I would probably get fired for my response! Well...maybe not quite that bad, but I would be seriously offended and would go to HR for discrimination.

So read the email I received below and share your thoughts in the comments section.

I’m outraged. A good friend of mine’s job is in jeopardy because she chose to BC and grow out her natural hair. No, this picture isn’t my friend I’m respecting her privacy (well…a lil bit) but she has short hair like this, except more curly. Anyway, my friend’s–I’ll call her KC– boss is saying that it violates company policy because her hair is not “well groomed” and that patients (she works in a Dr. office) have been complaining. Her boss has been more than outrageous in her response to KC’s hair from the very beginning being vocally unsupportive, derogatory, and snide. Not that KC necessarily needed support from her boss, but who would have thought that such discrimination would come as the result of going natural.

Who doesn't love a TWA?

I wonder how many of my other naturals have faced harsh reception in their place of work over their choice to go natural? I know in my place of employment, my coworkers, supervisors and really everybody in my building that has seen me has been fascinated by my curly journey. They touch my hair, question my process, and ask me tons of styling question. One coworker even started wearing her hair naturally as well, and now we often get mixed up.

In the black community, I’m constantly surprised at how we discriminate against one another. Now, with KC’s boss, she actually suggested (publicly, in front of patients and staff) that KC get a perm, put in weave, braids, etc and even offered to “find her a stylist” to which KC declined. I just would not know how to act if my boss was so actively concerned with my hair!!! Her boss is black, and I guess reading so many natural hair blogs I forget that not everyone is supportive or even tolerant of the natural hair movement. Being the psychotherapist (in training) that I am, I have to wonder what kind of self-hate this boss has going on that spurs her to act so cruelly.

It is a hard enough journey to learn to love your TWA, get used to the BC, and begin loving how you look without blow-in-the-wind relaxed hair. Then add on top of that someone in your life at least 40 hours a week telling you that you don’t look good or professional, telling you that there’s something wrong with your hair…its just discouraging and arouses all sorts of emotion in me. Have you guys had to deal with this sort of thing at work?? What did you do??

P.S. if you have been harassed at work because of your hair, check out the EEOC‘s discrimination complaint form. Natural community this is NOT okay, so speak up!!

Hairdressers Join Forces in the Fight Against AIDS

Ted Gibson, Jason Backe, Kaz Amor, Tracey Cunningham, Doug Macintosh, and Johnny Wright attend Hairdressers Against AIDS U.S. Launch At The United Nations at United Nations on November 30, 2010 in New York City. Photo: Bennett Raglin/WireImage for Hairdressers Against AIDS (website)

If you did not already know, today is World AIDS day. Every December 1st, men and women across the globe honor those who have lost their lives to this disease. To show their support, 500 stylists came together at the UN to kick-off a symposium which engages hairdressers to educate their clients about HIV and AIDS. Pretty cool, huh?

If you or someone you know has been affected by this disease, know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. Hopefully one day, through education and funding, we can eradicate this disease. In the meantime, I hope we all realize that HIV/AIDS affects each of us and we all need to do our part to help stop the spread of it by getting tested, making smart choices about sex and drugs, and continuing to educate ourselves and others.

What a Transformation! Raven Symone.

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I have posted before about how much I like Raven Symone. She is so multi-talented with acting, singing, entrepreneurship, etc. She also gives back to young girls along the way.

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Over the years her weight has fluctuated, not unlike mine or many other women's, but she is always beautiful and carried her weight well. But I have to say I was stunned when I saw these recent shots of her at The First Annual Diamond Awards. Wow Raven! Whatever she is doing (hopefully in a healthy way), her figure looks amazing and I hope she feels that way too.

Look at her now. What a transformation!

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What is a REAL woman anyway?

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There is so much debate over the media's impact on women and self esteem. On the one hand, we are supposed to love our bodies, no matter what the shape or size. Embracing ourselves just the way we are seems to be a common theme among talk show hosts and columnists alike. On the other hand, however, we are bombarded with messages that we need the latest this or that to make us thinner, prettier, younger, healthier, richer, more popular, etc. Whew! It can really confuse even the most grounded of girls out there.

As a school counselor, I see many young women and men who struggle with self-image on a daily basis. As a counseling intern, I remember co-leading a girl's group on self esteem when we began to talk about body types. The goal of the session was to help the girls identify the ways in which the media uses advertising to get us to feel a certain way about ourselves so we buy their products. One girl made a comment about "skinny models" and the other girls quickly jumped on board, ready to bash any woman they found among the pages who was tall and thin. Just then, the counselor I was working with made the comment that we must be careful about going too far in the other direction, that there are some women out there who are naturally tall and skinny just like there are those who are more pear shaped or "big boned". It was a light-bulb moment for me to think about what she was saying.

So often we are taught that real women are not skinny or thin or model-like at all. Real women have curves, hips, thighs, meat on their bones. But, the counselor was right. Some women are just naturally small. Does that mean they are no longer "real"? What is real? Why do we as women feel that we can only be validated if we devalue someone who is different? I say ALL women are real women.

I walked away from group that day, hoping that the girls took away the same message that I did. You don't have to stand in opposition to something or someone to find the beauty within yourself. Someone else does not have to become ugly or less than just so you can be worthy. I guess in the same way, we can apply this to other beauty standards like skin color or hair type/texture. One does not have to be made bad so that the other is good. Light is not better than dark, dark is not better than light. Equally, natural is not better than permed just like permed is not better than natural. It is all good.

What's your opinion?

From Ms to Mrs!

Hey guys and gals! Pardon me for the long haitus but thanks for the well wishes! The trip to Cancun was more than relaxing and my wedding went off without a hitch this past Saturday. The weather was beautiful at 10 am when we exchanged vows in front of our close friends and family. It was very laid back and calm, just like we hoped for, and we were really able to take in the moment.

Of all the things to worry about at a wedding- the dress, the cake, the weather- I was most preoccupied with the hair! I just know how humidity can NOT be my friend sometimes and so during the planning process I was at a loss for a style. My husband requested that I wear my hair out in some way so of course I wanted to oblige. I knew that no matter what, I wanted to rock a natural style with no heat! Understanding my hair and how it rarely holds a set in the warm summer months, I was hesitant. But, once I decided on the style, all I could do was hope for the best and let go!

So,the night before, I twisted my hair (dry) with Miss Jessies Curly Pudding. I then rolled each twist on a small perm rod and let it set overnight. I chose not to wash my hair the night before because I wanted it to be full and somewhat stretched. I was not 100% sure how it would turn out and I definitely did not know how long it would hold up over the course of the day. But the MJCP gave it just the right amount of hold and I was very pleased, even as the temp rose outside while we walked around taking pics. My mom bought me the cute flower clips for a but of decoration and bling--- thanks ma!

The wedding itself was perfect for us. Just close friends and family joined us on the day and everything was extremely relaxed. We really got to focus on each other and those around us.

So, in addition to the vacay and wedding, I started my new job. Needless to say, I have been busy! I hope to get back to some sort of regular posting and I really appreciate your patience in my absence. I hope you like the pics and take care!

~NL

Is Your Natural Hair Too Much Work???

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I love looking around You Tube to get hair inspiration. Lately I have been looking for different versions of mini braids, kind of like the ones I had a last year, to wear to Cancun. I didn't want to spend money getting them done again and I was looking for other natural ladies who did mini braids themselves.

One channel I found featured a young woman who had recently put in a set of pixie braids on her short natural hair. I remember thinking how beautiful she is and how well the style suited her face. I kept watching the video over and over, partly because her hair was amazing (and I wish I had tried that when my hair was that length) and partly because I just though the colors of her scarf, earrings and skin looked so rich together.

So, a few days ago, I go back to her channel to see more of her videos and to hopefully see more cute styles. Imagine my surprise when the first video I see, the woman on the screen is sporting a straight, flipped do. It was very cute but clearly not "natural"! At first I thought, oh so it looks like she straightened it out for a change or a length check or whatever. Then, I pressed play and realized what I should have surmised from the title! It clearly says Natural to Relaxed.

Now, I know plenty of women go natural then go back to relaxing their hair. Happens all the time. Some of you probably have done the same at some point. I guess what surprised me the most was that she felt her relaxed hair was easier. Don't get me wrong, I have heard that same sentiment expressed from countless other natural-back to relaxed folks. That is usually followed by naturals who condemn or try to make the person feel like they just didn't give it enough time or they were somehow complicating it for themselves. I mean, who are we to judge another person's lifestyle, routine, time management, etc? Sometimes, usually when I'm detangling, I feel like my hair is a lot of work too! I don't believe that relaxing would ever be an option for me again but I see that it is for other women.

So my questions are for you all. First, do you ever feel like your hair is more work now than when you were natural? Second, are there any ladies out there who are currently relaxed or who locked to get away from dealing with a bunch of loose natural hair?

Side note: Still in Cancun. It's LOVELY! If you've never done an all-inclusive before, put it on your list! I will share some pics when I get back and internet is limited here so I might not get to moderate all your comments/answer emails immediately. But I will get to them as I can so please don't stop sharing your thoughts.

When Life Takes Over....

So sorry to be MIA for so long! Life has gotten super hectic these past few weeks with getting ready for my new job, wedding plans constantly changing, family coming in and out of town, etc, etc. I miss writing and reading your comments but just don't have the time right this second. :-(

I am going to Cancun this week and I'll be back on the 21st. I may get to post there and I may not, we'll see. Either way, know that I am thinking of you all and hope you're doing well! Thanks for your patience.....

~Leslie

Happy Happy Birthday!!!!

Good morning everyone! Today is the big 2-8 and I just wanted to say thank you to everyone here who takes the time to read, comment, participate and just visit this blog. Over the past year and a half it has grown far beyond my wildest expectations. I never imagined so many cool people would even read what I had to say about hair or anything. But you do and you're here and you're awfully supportive to boot! So I am sharing my birthday with all of you and saying thank you so much, you are all sincerely appreciated! I plan to eat cake so even if it is not your birthday, I say go ahead and have cake too! I love you guys!

Acting White

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So I was reading this article about the phenomenon of acting white on Racialicious.com and it brought me right back to middle school! I remember growing up as a kid, all throughout elementary school, most of the people around me didn't look like me. That is to say, I went to a majority white, middle class school where there were only a handful of black kids. I never really gave it much thought in elementary school and we were all friends.

Then, I moved on to middle school and boy was I in for a surprise! Not only was the school bigger and more diverse, it was significantly populated with black students. It also had students from diverse socio-economic backgrounds. I remember the shock to my system as slowly but surely I was singled out by my new black peers. I was one of only two kids in the advanced classes and I can just remember all the white kids trying to set us up together. It seemed so obvious to me that the only reason they thought we should be together was because of our similar hues.

But it wasn't until I moved to my second middle school that I can remember being accused of "acting white". I never really felt this coming from black guys, it was usually the girls that wanted to point out how I talked or dressed or who I hung out with. I became so self-conscious that I changed how I dressed and was very aware of how I talked. It was torture!

So, now that I am an adult and I work in the public schools, it is sad to see that this trend continues. It is disheartening to see black children feeling the need to prove their "blackness", however you are supposed to do that. It is even sadder what some kids think being black means.

Take a moment and check out the article then come back to share. What were your experiences growing up? Were you ever teased for "acting white"? Or, were you part of the crowd doing the teasing?! No worries, we won't judge here. I am just interested to hear about your experiences and how you dealt with them. Hit me back!

Naturally Leslie is...

UPDATE: Thank you to all my readers! I am so excited to be marrying this man and I am so grateful for all the well wishes. Now...so much to plan! We don't have a date yet but my mind is already spinning with the details of dress, hair, cake, hair, cake, hair, cake. Ok, so the hair and cake are two really important parts to me! We plan on a very small event which makes me very very happy. I will share more as the weeks pass. Thanks again for all the love and support!!!!

Getting Married!!!!!

...details to follow!