What's Your Opinion: What's Next for Naturals?

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I have been thinking about this for a long time and wanted to get your opinions. I don't know about you all but it seems to me that natural hair is becoming more mainstream. Granted, there is still a long way to go before natural becomes the "norm", but compared to even just 10 years ago, there is so much information and awareness out there. More than ever, women are coming to embrace their god-given locks with pride.

It also seems that every day there is another natural hair product business, website, forum, you tuber, blog, etc cropping up to support, promote, and educate about kinky and curly hair. Talk about info overload!

So my questions to you all are these: What is next for natural hair? What do you anticipate will be the big issues of the next 5-10 years in this movement? What do you want to see bloggers and You Tubers tackle on their pages and vids? What do you hope to see in the media? Are we at the point where we no longer need to celebrate ever next person who goes natural or are we still just getting started?

Your thoughts....

What's Your Opinion: My Honey Child Products?

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I received a request via my Facebook page regarding My Honey Child natural hair products. I have never tried this line and therefore have no idea what the products are like. So, I thought I would turn it over to you. Has anyone tried anything from this line? If so, what is your opinion? Would you buy again or recommend to a fellow natural? Help us out!

What's Your Opinion: For Ladies Only?

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I got this comment on one of my older Fresh-Squeezed Fotki Juice posts and wanted your opinions.

"A guy...really, I thought this was about us!" ~Anonymous

This site is not just about natural hair but it is definitely one of the main focal points. I never thought about it being created for one sex, race, age, whatever but I realize there are a lot of people that like online communities for women only, especially when it comes to stuff about beauty.

So I want to know what you all think. Should sites like this be for women only? What do you think about men that want to participate or even be featured?

You Tube:The Science of Shea Butter

Ever wanted a more in-depth view of one of the most widely used butters in the natural hair and skincare world? Check out this vid all about Shea!

What's Your Opinion: Willow Smith-HAIRoine or Too Grown?

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Hey guys! So as I mentioned in yesterday's Sunday Cuteness post, Willow Smith, the 9 year old daughter of Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, has been blowing up the airways with her new single, Whip My Hair. When I first heard the song, I was blown away at the maturity of her voice. She sounded like a girl nearly twice her age! It is her 'mature' look, however, that has tongues wagging most.

We all remember when the half-shaved head came into rotation. Some embraced the look and some thought it was just plain silly. But when Willow Smith showed up with both sides of her head shaved, people began to ask whether or not it was appropriate for a girl of her age. Some people thought it was just too grown for a little girl. As time passed, Willow's been taking more chances with fashion and accessorizing her new hair with colorful ensembles and braided extensions. I have my own opinion about this but I really want to invite yours here first.

Some people may say that what she is doing is awesome because in an industry that usually tends to manufacture and churn out one look (long weave, tight skimpy clothes), little Willow is creating her own style. Her mom even said on Oprah that she was glad Willow's beauty didn't depend on the length of her hair. Others, however, might feel that she is just too young to take such liberties with her hair and clothes and that she should be dressed in a manner more appropriate for a 9-year old.

So, what's your opinion? Do you like the look, the fact that she is possibly setting a new standard for what Black girls (heck all girls!) can look like and do? Or, do you agree with those who think it's a bit too much for a kid? Weigh in!

What is a REAL woman anyway?

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There is so much debate over the media's impact on women and self esteem. On the one hand, we are supposed to love our bodies, no matter what the shape or size. Embracing ourselves just the way we are seems to be a common theme among talk show hosts and columnists alike. On the other hand, however, we are bombarded with messages that we need the latest this or that to make us thinner, prettier, younger, healthier, richer, more popular, etc. Whew! It can really confuse even the most grounded of girls out there.

As a school counselor, I see many young women and men who struggle with self-image on a daily basis. As a counseling intern, I remember co-leading a girl's group on self esteem when we began to talk about body types. The goal of the session was to help the girls identify the ways in which the media uses advertising to get us to feel a certain way about ourselves so we buy their products. One girl made a comment about "skinny models" and the other girls quickly jumped on board, ready to bash any woman they found among the pages who was tall and thin. Just then, the counselor I was working with made the comment that we must be careful about going too far in the other direction, that there are some women out there who are naturally tall and skinny just like there are those who are more pear shaped or "big boned". It was a light-bulb moment for me to think about what she was saying.

So often we are taught that real women are not skinny or thin or model-like at all. Real women have curves, hips, thighs, meat on their bones. But, the counselor was right. Some women are just naturally small. Does that mean they are no longer "real"? What is real? Why do we as women feel that we can only be validated if we devalue someone who is different? I say ALL women are real women.

I walked away from group that day, hoping that the girls took away the same message that I did. You don't have to stand in opposition to something or someone to find the beauty within yourself. Someone else does not have to become ugly or less than just so you can be worthy. I guess in the same way, we can apply this to other beauty standards like skin color or hair type/texture. One does not have to be made bad so that the other is good. Light is not better than dark, dark is not better than light. Equally, natural is not better than permed just like permed is not better than natural. It is all good.

What's your opinion?

Update: What's Your Opinion? Protective=Unattractive?

You all have had such great comments about this post! It's funny how so many of us go through similar things along our natural journeys. I have often thought about how I feel cutest with my hair out but at the same time, it is not worth dealing with the intense, sometimes hour-long detangling sessions afterwards. Usually not a big deal after a twist out but wash-n-go styles are a HUGE No-No for me at this length. That puff in the post before this one left my hair very unhappy. Granted, part of that was due to some products I used but allowing my natural curls to dry into a shrunken state makes it really difficult to get through once completely dried.

I wanted to add to/respond to some of the comments that caught my eye. I could totally relate to Fina's comment:Now my hair is in a protective style ~90% of the time and I feel slightly unsafe/guilty when I wear my hair out. Sometimes I too have felt almost bad when my hair is out and blowing around, just because I know it will cause more knots/split ends. I've learned to take it easier on myself and not get all stressed out over my hair. Sometimes it was like I forgot that I don't HAVE to have a length or growth goal just because everyone talks about it. And if I fall asleep one night without a freaking satin cap, my hair will still be ok...

And Jc makes a good point here: I understand what she is saying but I do think there are other protective styles that could make her feel cute. For example the classic two french braids. Perhaps a few cornrows in the front and free hair in the back tied into a bun. It is not all twists and box braids, there are alternatives.

Now here is another interesting comment from Deborah Estelle : But I like how some protective styles look like Roshini or even yours in your pictures but for some reason some women end up looking like the slavery era!

Sometimes when my hair was shorter especially, I remember feeling this way about twists. They just seemed so drawn up to my scalp. It did remind me of images I'd seen on tv of folks portraying slaves. It's nuts that those and big 70's afros are pretty much the only images I remember seeing as a kid of natural hair. Luckily that is changing but I totally know what she means.

And sometimes, like Moni said, it's all about practicality based on the environment in which you live: I wear protective styles all winter and wear my hair out most of the summer. Michigan winters are just too cold to leave my hair out.

These are for CocoEuro!

In the end, when it comes to protective styles, some of us like them, some don't. That's ok! It is nice to be able to choose how to wear your hair, whether it be relaxed or natural, kinky or straight, up or out. I guess I would only add that feeling guilty or bad about doing something to your hair is a waste of time and no fun! Hair should not dominate our lives or our self-esteem, although I know that can be easier said than done. Thanks to all who have shared so far and everyone else, feel free to chime in!

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Taking a look around You Tube, I came across a video by SupremeDejhan entitled "I Don't Do Protective Styles..." I was intrigued because in the natural world protective styles are a mainstay, especially for those with length or health goals. I wear protective styles a lot nowadays that my hair has gotten longer. My hair tangles so easily and I get tons of tiny fairy knots if my hair is out for too long or gets blow around in the wind. Sometimes protective styles are less about my hair health and more for the sake of my mental health when I think about how un-fun it is to detangle a ratty mess!

One thing she says in the video is that she does not want to sacrifice her cuteness for more length and that she is fine with the amount of hair she has. My mom even talks about how she does not like how her hair frames her face when it is in twists or other protective styles. She says that she needs "big" hair to frame her face in an attractive way.

My question to you all is, do you wear protective styles a lot? If so, it is for length retention, growth, health?

Do you feel attractive when your hair is in protective styles? If so, what are some of your favorites? If not, what else do you do to yourself (earrings, makeup, clothes, etc) to enhance your appearance?

In another clip of the video, she mentions not wanting to spend so much time with her hair in protective styles that she does not get to enjoy her hair. For some reason it made me think of my grandma's old house in the living room where all the "good" couches were covered in plastic! Like, we were saving them for when company came over but in the mean time we all had to look at that thick plastic. I know, random example, but it was the first thing that came to mind. Is it worth it to you to keep your mane twisted or otherwise "protected" if that means big hair is out for a while?

Please share your love (or love/hate or just hate!) relationship with protective styles! I would love to know what you think about this!

What's Your Opinion: A Pill to go Curl-Free?

First of all, happy 2010 everyone! I hope you all had a safe and fun transition into the new year.

You may have caught wind of this from other blogs and sites but after seeing it again on Essence.com, I really wanted to post it anyway and get your take.

Apparently, a group of Australian scientists are working on creating a pill that will alter the gene for curly hair, resulting in straight hair that grows from the scalp. In other words, if this works, there will be an actual oral "treatment" for coily haired folks and straight locks will be available to anyone who can afford the drug. Apparently, not only could you go straight but the discovery of this gene means there could potentially be a pill to make straight hair curly or wavy as well.

Researchers at Australia's Queensland Institute of Medical Research said they have discovered the gene responsible for dictating the curliness of hair.

Researcher Professor Nick Martin said his team discovered variations in the trichohyalin gene, which was previously known to have a role in the development of hair follicles, are responsible for the curliness or straightness of hair, the Melbourne Herald-Sun reported Tuesday.

Martin said the discovery could have major implications for hair treatments.

"Potentially we can now develop new treatments to make hair curlier or straighter, rather than treating the hair directly," he said. "I will be discussing this with a major cosmetic company in Paris in January." Excerpt from here

Wow. Of course I have issues with this. In fact, I have many issues with this. For starters, who is to say that this pill would be safe to ingest? It would be so new that I am sure crazy side effects would occur. Also, while I am not in favor of relaxers, texturizers, or other chemical services that permanently alter one's texture, it seems like altering genes is just taking it to a whole to level. I mean, what happens when suddenly there is a pill that alters melanin or eye color? Is this just one more step towards "racial engineering" as one commenter said on Essence? With women already paying thousands of dollars for weaves, I can't imagine what lengths some people might go to for this pill.

In this era of globalization, my fear is not that people want the option to change up their looks. I am more afraid that people (specifically those who do not fall in the majority group) will begin to strive toward one look and one look only. I fear that people of different ethnicities and backgrounds are beginning to want to achieve the physical appearance of the dominant culture and I hate to think what people would be willing to do to achieve that.

Working in a middle school where low self-esteem runs rampant, I see young people everyday who struggle with accepting themselves and are willing to do almost anything to fit in. It's bad enough that many young women are being given breast implants or nose jobs as graduation presents!

Do I think everyone who might want to try this is full of self-hatred or dislikes their race/ethnicity? No! But you can see where this could become problematic, especially for those that do.

So I turn it over to you. What are your feelings about this new prospect? Would taking this pill be any different than relaxing the hair with chemicals or lightening the skin with a cream? Would you consider using something like this? If yes, tell me why. I won't judge and I would only ask that other commenters be respectful if someone's opinion differs from your own.

A Chop for the Cure!

I just saw this amazing video by youtuber femenistbabe and it blew me away. Not only is this girl amazingly beautiful and brave to shave her head, but she did it and found a way to give back to a good cause in the process! I especially loved watching her hair grow back in over the months following her chop. In my opinion, she looks absolutely gorgeous with and without hair. It just goes to show that the big chop, while a daunting and scary task for some, can be a liberating experience for others. I remember when I BC'd the second time, I really tried to enjoy my short hair as it grew back out.

Tell me what you think about the video and what your BC experience was like. Did you chop early or after a long transition? Do you have any regrets or are you happy with the way things turned out? Has anyone out there chopped again recently? Check out this vid for more pics of her chop!

I love hearing about your hairstories so please drop your two cents!

What's Your Opinion: Enough About Hair For Now...

...What about marriage?

So I saw this video and thought it was an interesting topic to discuss. What do you think about marriage and living together before marriage? Is it a religious issue for you or a matter of legality? Or both? I saw a video similar to this about a program that works to wed unmarried couples, especially those who have already had kids. I know that it is commonly discussed how so many African American children are born out of wedlock and many grow up in single parent households. Then, of course, we have many celebrity examples (Angie and Brad, Halle and Gabe, Kurt and Goldie, etc etc) who have 'successful' relationships where they have been together for years and continue to have and raise children. It seems that in our society, it is ok for them but then "regular" couples are looked down upon. Is this a double standard?

I do not consider myself a religious person but the idea of having children out is not for me. I don't know if it is because I think I will be judged or that in my profession, I am looked at as a role model for kids or what. But that is for me, I don't judge what other people do and I don't think of it as necessarily a right or wrong thing per se.

So check out this vid and drop your opinion. Do we need more Black marriages or more marriages in general? Or, should people be able to live together as they wish without the legal commitment? Some people might think less marriage equals less divorces, especially considering the divorce rate in this country. I wonder if the trend of less marriage has anything to do with the decline in people identifying as religious or members of a certain faith.

So complex, so interesting....weigh in!

What's Your Opinion: Are We Stuck Up?

Ladies. Weigh in for me. Are we natural haired women stuck up? Like hair snobs because we have left the creamy crack behind? I actually went to see Chris Rock's Good Hair last night with my mom, on a whim, and I think we were the only two women with natural hair in there. I didn't pay much attention at first but as time went on, I noticed myself laughing at parts (and there was no one else laughing) or crinkling my nose at things that I deemed ridiculous (like spending $1000 for a weave when you don't have lights). Then all of a sudden I got self-conscious. I began to wonder if when the lights came on, the non-natural ladies in the room would look at me with a critical eye, like I thought I was 'above' them for not dealing with the bull crap that can come with relaxers and weaves. I don't know. I just got a weird feeling and wondered if I, on some level, am stuck up about hair.

What do you think? Has this ever happened to you? Do you catch yourself having critical thoughts about women who choose to straighten? Have you even been accused of it? One of the points made by some of the people in the film is that hair is just another way for women, especially Black women, to try and one-up each other. Like breast or butt size, skin tone, and weight. Like we should not 'hate' on other women for the choices they make about their bodies and lifestyles. It's complex and I'm sure you have some very interesting opinions. As always, guys jump right in on this one too!

Blonde Moment

Ya'll know I love J Sparks but.....

I'm struggling with the blonde streaks! What happened to the curly and red????

Ahh well, we're all entitled to play with our heads, I was just hoping she would stay dark. She's still totally cute tho, I'd hug her!

So what's your opinion?

Stupid Stuff People Say....

Does stuff like this happen to you??? I work in a middle school and I hear stupid crap like this all the time from young people who have internalized their elders' opinions of self-hate. She's so cute and funny! So what do you guys think? I think what she said about nappy vs thick was interesting. Is nappy bad to some people? IDK Sometimes I get tire of talking about hair. Then I read/see/hear something that makes me wanna discuss...

What's Your Opinion?:Natural Relaxers

Hey everybody! I really like to know what you all think about things so I decided to do a "What's Your Opinion" post every now and again when something comes up and I want to hear what you all think about it. The purpose is not to stir controversy for controversy's sake, only to see what types of though processes are out there on certain natural hair issues. I hope you will take a little time to give your comment and please do so respectfully.

So, I just saw this vid from Curlychronicles a few minutes ago and it felt like something I wanted to hear your opinions about. I have never tried a "relaxer" of any kind since going natural 10 years ago, but I have heard of different methods used to lengthen, silken, elongate, or loosen kinks and coils. If you don't know what these natural relaxers are all about, here are some links I found:
Treasured Locks, safehairrelaxer.com, and you tube vids here(part1) and here (part2).

Some people feel this is wrong and means you are no longer really natural while others feel like it's just hair, doesn't matter, and should not be taken so seriously.

So what do you all think? Do you agree with what she's saying in terms of the "natural relaxers" being a backdoor way of changing the texture without having to feel like you're using a chemical to change your texture? Or, do you think it just enhances manageability and style options?

Nothing to get all huffy about, just thought it was interesting. Would love to hear your thoughts... ~NL