Lovely Natural Bride: Besangie

NL: Tell us about your wedding day look (attire, decor, hair)

B: The idea for our wedding was fun. We wanted bright vibrant colors that radiated how excited we were to get married. The base color was orange, however everything else was random and beautiful. The mothers chose their own dresses. My mother wore a beautiful pink dress with high collar and belt, and my mother-in-law wore a couture green one-shoulder dress with flowers and side split.

Bride Besangie with her mother

The guys wore gray tuxes with orange ties. The florist knocked it out the park with multi-color gladiolas and roses, and orange and yellow calla lilies at the ceremony and reception. I even had my shoes airbrushed the color of the bridesmaids dresses (with our names and the wedding date on the back!).

I had my dress made in Pittsburgh. I wanted dupioni silk, pockets, and a simple but classic design (that didn't make me look like a sex kitten or cinderella). While in the stores, dupioni silk was extra expensive, I found a seamstress that could buy the fabric and make the dress for a reasonable fee. The woman did an outstanding job for $600, and the shoulder had potato pearls and swarovski crystals. It took about 6 months to make, but worth it.

My hair was a whole 'nother story! I am natural, so I had a ton of options but each had a "worst case scenario". A press was ruled out because I like to dance and when I dance I sweat. A lot. So that just would have been a waste of money. I could have done two strand twists, but I wear those on a regular basis, and wanted something different. Cornrows were out of the question as I didn't think they were formal enough. A nicely sculpted twist-out could have been done, but I wasn't sure I wanted to wear that either as I often rock the twist out. Also, with the sweat, I wasn't sure what my twist-out hair would do and I didn't want any surprises. I have never worn weave, and I didn't want to start then, so that was out too. I finally decided on the flat twists (the single roll, not two strand). I wanted my hair up, so I told my stylist. For my consultation, I brought the hair accessory I found at Clair's for about $5 and the veil I made out of mesh fabric, 2 hair combs and hot glue. It all worked out! The day was beautiful, and we had tons of fun! My dress stayed on, my hair was in place, and I danced til I was sweaty and my feet hurt!

NL: Have you always been natural? Tell me about your hair history.

B: The best way to tell this story is by age...
0-16: Natural
-My mom was natural, and my friends either were natural or had presses so in my mind it wasn't a huge deal to be natural. My mom and I went to the salon together (if she didn't do mine at home), and we had a good time watching movies together and learning about hair.

16-22: Cut it short, permed
-I was ready to do something different and wear it straight and short. So I went to the salon after talking with my mom (who lovingly told me, "its just hair babe, do what you want.") and cut it off. The style was flattering and I sometimes let it grow out to a bob. The maintenance was tough, my scalp got burnt, but I thought it was worth it for the look. Also, during college I didn't really want to transition to natural, as it seemed like a lot of work. I learned that my hair wasn't really strong enough for relaxers so I often had breakage, even though it looked healthy.

22-26: did a big chop, back to natural
-I cut off my relaxed hair my first year of graduate school. I figured I would be there for 5 years, so this was the time to do it. I grew it out for about 3 months, and then went to a salon and had him cut it off. It was a little shocking to see just my head with no hair, so he gave me tiny comb twists for free to make me leave (as I was glued to the chair from shock about what to do next). It grew out and I loved it. I wore two strand twists, cornrows, flat twists, the twist out, presses, and afro-puffs. Then one day I went for a trim, and she cut it too low...

26-28: cut it short, permed
-After the bad trim, I said to myself, "since it is as short as when I first cut it off 4 years ago, I might as well get a relaxer and wear my short style again". I wore the style and loved it again for another 2 years. During that time, I became more aware of the chemical issues of relaxers and how they really were unhealthy. I started reading the labels of products and paying attention to when my hair would break off. I tried to maintain it for as long as I could until it just got to be too much work. I wanted my natural hair back.

28-30: did a big chop, back to natural
-I had recently moved to Pittsburgh and decided it would be a good time to cut my hair off again after being there only 4 months. The stress of moving had caused major breakage to my lovely relaxed quaff, and I was trying to refine my budget. I decided I didn't want to go to the salon every 6 weeks. Not that natural hair doesn't need salon care, but I didn't want to have to be dependent on salon care. I went to my stylist who was caring for my relaxed hair and had her cut it all off. Again. She gave me a cool afro that she left long at the top and shorter on the sides. I have been growing it out natural ever since!

NL: What styles do you typically wear now? What is your routine?

B: I usually wear two-strand twists or twist-outs. I love the soft look that they give and the versatility with the styles. On occasion, I will go and have it two-strand flat twisted as well. My routine is pretty simple: I wash it every 1-2 weeks (usually closer to 2) with Aubrey's Organics shampoo and conditioner (I really like the White Cameillia). While it's still wet, I spray on Talia Waajid Mist Bodifier along with raw unrefined coconut oil, unrefined sweet almond oil, and raw shea butter. Depending on how I feel, I will either twist it, dry it into an afro, or put it in balls so that it can dry and I can style it later. I also use curlformers from time to time, but the look never lasts. Every 3-4 months, I trim my hair by two strand twisting it very small and dusting off the ends. I used to get it pressed to get a trim, but the press would frizz after going to the gym, and even worse, some parts would stay straight even after I washed my hair a few times, making it hard to twist.

NL: What does you hubby think of your hair? How did he feel about the style you chose for your wedding day?

B: When I did the first big chop to being natural, he was a little worried and was rooting for it to grow out. After about 3 months, he could feel how soft it was and see how fast it was growing and he became natural hair's biggest fan. When I returned to permed hair, he liked it because it was very flattering and more of what he saw on other women/the norm, but he agreed it wasn't as soft and healthy. When I did my second big chop, he was all for it! Now he loves my hair, and often says he is going to learn to twist so he can play in it. He is learning more about healthy living and realizing that relaxers are full of harmful chemicals, so he is all the way in with the natural hair.
As for my wedding style, he loved it. It was different than what I normally wear, and I didn't have to mess with it/be in a mirror all the time. He could touch it freely and it was out of my face (which he likes), so it was perfect!!

NL: What is the best thing about being natural?

B: The cost and the freedom! I love being able to do my own hair from start to finish, and not have to worry about whether or not my stylist is available or if I can get to the shop! I know my hair is healthier, and I enjoy changing it up. Also, I love having my mom do my hair again like when I was a kid! She gives the BEST scalp massages.

NL: Is there anything else you would like to share with Naturally Leslie readers?

B: Hmmm...I am feeling inspirational, so here it goes. Give yourself a chance to see yourself. Cut off your hair, wear the two-piece swimsuit, go without make-up. Discover the beauty of your baseline before you decide to cover it up. Everyone is different, so don't compare your hair (or any other) journey with someone elses. Be the lovely person you are. Be physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally healthy so you can be confident in what God gave you, and work it!!

Looks like it was a glorious occasion. Thank you Besangie for sharing your day with us!

For those of you out there planning your own nuptials, check out Besangie's blog Guerilla Brides for cool tips!

From Ms to Mrs!

Hey guys and gals! Pardon me for the long haitus but thanks for the well wishes! The trip to Cancun was more than relaxing and my wedding went off without a hitch this past Saturday. The weather was beautiful at 10 am when we exchanged vows in front of our close friends and family. It was very laid back and calm, just like we hoped for, and we were really able to take in the moment.

Of all the things to worry about at a wedding- the dress, the cake, the weather- I was most preoccupied with the hair! I just know how humidity can NOT be my friend sometimes and so during the planning process I was at a loss for a style. My husband requested that I wear my hair out in some way so of course I wanted to oblige. I knew that no matter what, I wanted to rock a natural style with no heat! Understanding my hair and how it rarely holds a set in the warm summer months, I was hesitant. But, once I decided on the style, all I could do was hope for the best and let go!

So,the night before, I twisted my hair (dry) with Miss Jessies Curly Pudding. I then rolled each twist on a small perm rod and let it set overnight. I chose not to wash my hair the night before because I wanted it to be full and somewhat stretched. I was not 100% sure how it would turn out and I definitely did not know how long it would hold up over the course of the day. But the MJCP gave it just the right amount of hold and I was very pleased, even as the temp rose outside while we walked around taking pics. My mom bought me the cute flower clips for a but of decoration and bling--- thanks ma!

The wedding itself was perfect for us. Just close friends and family joined us on the day and everything was extremely relaxed. We really got to focus on each other and those around us.

So, in addition to the vacay and wedding, I started my new job. Needless to say, I have been busy! I hope to get back to some sort of regular posting and I really appreciate your patience in my absence. I hope you like the pics and take care!

~NL

You Tube Inspiration: Natural Brides!

I am so excited about my impending nuptials and have yet to decide on a style. Since we don't have a date I am unsure about the what type of weather to plan for. More than likely, it will be warm and humid. I would love your ideas and thoughts about a natural style for this bride to be!

Aside from that, I received a wonderful email with a link to this You Tube vid featuring Khamit Kinks brides 2010. As I have mentioned time and again, I LOVE pictures of natural brides. They are so few and far between in comparison to straight-haired brides. The only problem with videos like this one is that there never seem to be enough pics to satisfy me! So I hope you enjoy and feel inspired!

Naturally Leslie is...

UPDATE: Thank you to all my readers! I am so excited to be marrying this man and I am so grateful for all the well wishes. Now...so much to plan! We don't have a date yet but my mind is already spinning with the details of dress, hair, cake, hair, cake, hair, cake. Ok, so the hair and cake are two really important parts to me! We plan on a very small event which makes me very very happy. I will share more as the weeks pass. Thanks again for all the love and support!!!!

Getting Married!!!!!

...details to follow!

Our Golden Girl Starla is Back!

...And she was gracious enough to do a quick interview about her natural experience, her wedding, and she even included a few casual shots!

NL: Starla, thanks for taking the time to talk with me about your beautiful hair and your fabulous wedding! I loved the overall style of your big day. How did you decide on the colors, the dress, and the flowers?

I think that the most important thing about our wedding was that it completely reflected who we are both as individuals and as a couple. I was really NOT excited about planning a wedding--my mama didn't have a big wedding, I had never been in a wedding, and most weddings that I have been to didn't really reflect the couple. So making the day "ours and us" was most important. It actually wasn't until I discovered OBB, that I realized that we could do whatever we wanted!

As for the dress, my Grandma made it for me! I am so lucky that I have her. Really, it's a super simple dress with badass fabric--for about 1000 dollars less than a traditional wedding dress. I initially wanted a birdcage veil, but realized that what I really wanted was a big ass feathery headpiece, so I ended up making all the hairpieces. Flowers--we got lots of flowers from a local farm, and both my friend Naomi and my mother-in-law grew lots of beautiful flowers. Naomi did all the arrangements--I didn't really have much to do with the flowers, I just trusted my friend to put together a giant, beautiful bouquet. And she did. We love old soul music, and wanted our wedding to have a throwback feel, but still wanted to look young and fresh.

NL: I love the fact that your beautiful natural hair was proudly on display at your wedding. What went into your decision to style your hair the way you did?

I did struggle a bit in how to do my hair. I am a pretty casual person (and somewhat lazy when it comes to hair), but I did want it look "done." I didn't really have a plan until the day of the wedding when my aunt started doing my hair. She brought over a small curling iron and some hairspray to try out a style she thought would look good. The minute she started curling it, I was like..."STOP!" We both decided that a little lift with the blow dryer was all I needed. The three cornrows were sort of impromptu.

NL: Have you always been natural? If so, did you feel any pressure to straighten or alter your natural texture for the wedding? If not, what is your natural hair story?

No, I have not always been natural, I have had a couple of different hair styles throughout my life: a jheri curl (fell out), a relaxer (fell out), braid extensions, and then I sort of came into myself, and went natural. I didn't really have any pressure to straighten my hair for the wedding... I think people knew better than to ask me that:)

NL: It was so cute and emotional how your husband looked at you on your big day. You must have felt like a queen. Tell us, what does your husband think about your hair?

Thomas and I have been together since I transitioned my hair about 6 years ago and he has witnessed everything from my insecurities to m pride. I think that he (especially being white) has learned how important hair can play in black women's lives. He has seen it matted to my head, freshly shrunk after swimming, cornrowed, twisted, blown-out, all that. And he wouldn't have it any other way. He doesn't run his fingers through it or anything, but luckily he doesn't care about that!

NL: When you're not all glammed up, how do you normally style your hair? What is your typical hair routine (like when you wash, condish, etc)? Are there any particular products or tools that you prefer?

Like I said earlier, I'm pretty lazy about my hair. I didn't realize how much work natural hair actually is! In the summertime, I wash it a lot more cause I swim alot (it's hot in Texas) or I leave it in cornrows. Any other time, I wash it once a week--I use Shea Butter Shampoo and Conditioner. For a long while, I was using almond oil, peppermint oil, and rosemary oil to keep it moisturized, but my hair is extremely kinky and dry, so I am trying out different products right now. Any suggestions? But on a normal day, I braid my hair in large cornrows overnight, unbraid and finger through....that's if I'm not wearing a headwrap. I love headwraps.

NL: Is there anything you would like to add for other potential natural brides out there?

I think that it's important to just be you. And there is no better place to be you than at your wedding in front of all the people who love you. If you are confident enough to wear your natural hair everyday, then you should wear it on your wedding day. Plus, natural hair is beautiful.

Thanks Leslie. Your blog is awesome. I'm honored!

p.s. the pics are everyday me. nothing to fancy. The one with Thomas and I is Honduras on our Honeymoon!

Wow! Thanks again to Starla (and hubby Thomas) for sharing hair tips and the big day with us! Click here to see more pics of this beautiful natural bride.

Golden Soul Love Shakedown!

Oooh do I have something amazing for you guys! I was casually visiting one of my favorite sites, Offbeat Bride, when I saw something that took my breath away. You may or may not recall how I've mentioned in the past that I loooooove natural brides. And ladies and gents, I found one! These breathtaking shots were captured by the Austin, Texas based photographer, Lauren McGlynn. If you're in that area and looking for a photographer, check out her rates here.

Please meet Thomas and Starla who were wed September 6, 2009.

What a beautiful bride! Here are just some of the amazing details from their special day......

Such a pretty and unique gown...

Prepping her beautiful natural hair...

I love the cornrows...

Such a cool hairpiece!

Don't these two look adorable? And I'm luvin that dress and the gorgeous flowers, btw!

I am madly in love with this wedding! It looks simply but elegant, heartfelt and joyful. I love the colors and the overall style of the bride.

To see the entire set of captures, check out the photographer's blog here.

This just reminds me of how beautiful natural hair can be when left simple. I like how the bride chose to let her natural texture shine through and take center stage on her big day. Talk about care free! Just goes to show that natural hair IS elegant, formal, and special enough for an occasion as grand as this!

And stay tuned...Not only did this bride allow me to use her photos, I am hoping to get an interview for a more in-depth look into her natural style and her big day!

A Natural Bride...

Hello guys and gals! A Naturally Leslie reader, God's Favorite Shoes, was kind enough to pass along a link to the wonderful wedding featuring Nancy,a natural bride, and her groom Adam over on The Bride's Cafe. Thanks! I love natural ladies and I love simple weddings so when the two collide it's like **bliss**! The fantastic shots you'll see below were captured by Mollie of Bloom Photography.
I don't know what I love more...the cute dress, the bride's coily short do, or the rustic and romantic setting. I love that she got her dress at Nordstroms and their lunch catered from Whole Foods (one of my FAVORITE spots to find all things natural). This makes me want to stalk more photography websites in the search of other beautiful natural brides. I know so many ladies wonder what they would do with their hair on such a special occasion but Nancy shows us that sometimes all you need is a simple flower to compliment your kinks and curls. So thanks to Mollie for sharing her work and a special thanks to Nancy and Adam for inspiring us with your style, your love, and your hair!

Isn't this romantic...

So thanks again to The Bride's Cafe and Bloom Photography! Head on over to read about Nancy & Adam and to get more wedding inspiration!