What's Your Opinion: What's Next for Naturals?

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I have been thinking about this for a long time and wanted to get your opinions. I don't know about you all but it seems to me that natural hair is becoming more mainstream. Granted, there is still a long way to go before natural becomes the "norm", but compared to even just 10 years ago, there is so much information and awareness out there. More than ever, women are coming to embrace their god-given locks with pride.

It also seems that every day there is another natural hair product business, website, forum, you tuber, blog, etc cropping up to support, promote, and educate about kinky and curly hair. Talk about info overload!

So my questions to you all are these: What is next for natural hair? What do you anticipate will be the big issues of the next 5-10 years in this movement? What do you want to see bloggers and You Tubers tackle on their pages and vids? What do you hope to see in the media? Are we at the point where we no longer need to celebrate ever next person who goes natural or are we still just getting started?

Your thoughts....

Reader Question: Style Help for Dry Hair, Damaged Hairline

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I received the email below from one 14 year-old Naturally Leslie reader:

Hi Naturally Leslie,

I am a huge fan of your blog and love reading your
post. I am currently fourteen and have been natural for a long
time,almost all my life. Only recently have I really begun to care for
my hair. It has been difficult lately because my mother is a
hairbraider and aften braids my hair in weave(usually kinky twist) so
I don't really have much time to control my hair. Although I do wash
it and try to moisturize I am having difficulties moisturizing and
finding styling options. My hair is really fine and since I've worn
braids for a long time my hairline is severely damaged. I don't know
how to style it because of my hairline dilema or what products to use
to moisturize. I'm thinking about purchasing aussie moist for my hair
as a conditioner and leave in conditioner would this be a good idea? I
would love it if you could possible help me find some suitable
hairstyles and product.

Thank you very much.

I know so many of you here know a ton about how to have healthy natural hair so please weigh in and leave you advice in the comments section!

To learn more about dealing with the issue of hair thinning, click here.

Guest Blogger Piece: What About our Kinky Curly Boys?

Hello everyone! I got the following email from one Naturally Leslie reader who wanted to share her perspective on natural hair for boys. It hit home with me because, as I already shared a short while back, I am expecting a little boy myself! I appreciated reading her piece and was glad to share it with all of you.

by Monica- Hair & Heart

There are a ton of blogs and youtube channels devoted to girls and their curls. How to style them, dress them up, keep them healthy etc. There is almost no information online devoted to young boys with highly textured hair. What about those of us with little princes who don’t want to chuck up the deuces to that beautiful hair and “just get a fade”? Its not often you see a young boy with long hair and if you do they probably have that “good grade” of hair (as my grandmother calls it). Every now and then I may see a prince with locs or cornrows but almost never free flowing a la Jaden Smith. Its frowned upon to have your son rock his curls after learning how to talk, as the old wives tale goes.

My son, Kai, is 2 ½ and I decided that I am not going to cut his hair (again…this will be explained later) to conform to the norms of African American society. My son has a beautiful head of hair. His curls have tightened up a bit since he was born, but they are still gorgeous. He has always been mistaken for a girl since he was born as well. Even while wearing a blue outfit, with airplanes and tiny chuck taylors. I began to think that maybe it was his hair, which I used to keep in box braids. I began to see that most people think that having long hair was more of a feminine aesthetic. My thoughts were confirmed by my BF’s mother when she stressed that he really should get his hair cut. Her reasons were that “he needs to feel like a boy” *side eye on deck*. After much thought, I lopped off a few of his braids. I gave in ya’ll, I cut my baby’s hair . We took him to the barber to complete the job I started and he cut Kai’s hair to this <> long. It was literally 1 ½” long and lop sided. The “barber” cut his hair with industrial scissors so I had to go back and cut even more to get rid of any split ends that may have emerged from the butchering of his tiny head.

I cried….and cried….and cried. For a week straight. I don’t know if it was because his hair was gone or the fact that I gave into pressure and did something I didn’t want to do in the first place. After that I vowed to never cut his hair again. That was about 8 months ago. His hair is almost as long as it was pre-cut. I started my own blog that focused on natural hair kids especially boys to help other mothers in this predicament. What to do with their hair to not appear girly? Does long hair really equal feminine? Doesn’t boy hair require just as much care and attention as a girl’s does? All these questions have been on my mind. His journey is just beginning but I do not want him to feel like he has to look a certain way to fit into the “boy” mold, especially when it comes to his hair.

To see more from Monica (including some ridiculously adorable pics of her little guy Kai, check out her blog here.

Routine Tweaks!

For the past few months, I have been trying some new things with my hair routine and thought I'd share. Now, I don't measure my hair but when I last straightened it about a month ago, the back was slightly below my bra strap and the front stretched to about the collar bone. It seems that as my hair gets longer, it gets harder to deal with and I was beginning to dread wash days.

While it was straight, I took the time to cut out some single strand knots. It seemed that for a while, they had become the bane of my existence! I was getting more and more of the little buggers and did not know what to do. On top of that, my scalp was not reacting well to the cold weather. I felt like a hot mess!

So, I decided it was silly to continue doing the same things to my hair and expecting different results. But the last thing I wanted was to devote more time to doing my hair. I abhor sitting under the dryer for long periods of time and the thought of spending my entire Saturday walking around deep conditioning seemed out of the question. (I guess you just get lazy and lose enthusiasm after a decade?) So I decided to try some other tweaks to see if they made a difference.

Here's what I've been trying lately:

1. Wash in two halves. Simple I know. But for some reason I have resisted the wash/condish in sections mantra that seems to be so useful for other naturals. Well, it has made all the difference in the world. When my hair was shorter, washing my whole head with all my hair loose was no big deal. But as my hair gets longer and longer, washing one half at a time really cuts down on the tangling and knotting. This is a must for naturals once hair gets past sholder-length for sure!

2. Detangling in the shower. Well, after I wash each half I apply a slippery conditioner and run a bit of water over the section to make everything even more slippery. I take a wide toothed comb and detangle one half at a time. I used to be obsessed with using my denman or a detangling comb to go over every inch but now as long as I get the big tangles out, the rest I can work through as I twist. My detangling time went from 30 minutes to about 3. And yes, that is without me ripping or breaking a bunch of hairs.

3. Apply oil to my scalp after I apply the conditioner in the shower. Well, once I have detangled and both sections are secured with a ponytail holder, I just take one down, take a bottle of oil (olive, almond, grapeseed, whatever) and apply oil to my scalp. I section off portions of my hair with my fingers to expose the scalp and simply add the oil. Once I have gone through one half of my head, I massage with the pads of my fingers then twist the section up, securing with an elastic. I repeat this on the other side then proceed to finish the showering process. Finally, when I rinse I am left with super conditioned hair as well as a lubricated scalp which eliminates me having to add oil when I get out and style. This step has really helped with my dry scalp issues over time. I read on one site that too much added oil could actually feed the bacteria that cause some scalp problems, resulting in even more flakes. I feared I was excessively oiling my scalp and exacerbating the issue. Now, my scalp is lubricated and flake free without being overly oily.

4. Stretching the hair. Again, when my hair was shorter, this was a step that felt very optional. Now it is required to keep me from losing hair and my sanity. I don't bother anymore with doing small twists while my hair is wet. I do about 12 total, working on one half of my head at a time. Again working in halves has saved my hair and my ends. I lose far less hair and styling is done in about 30 minutes versus the 1-1.5 hrs I spent in the past. I was over detangling and over twisting. Now, once the 12 large twists dry, I can twist in smaller sections if I choose. Also, drying hair in larger sections means less coils to get tangled on each other. Bigger equals looser and that equals retention for me.

5. Shea butter for my ends when wet/damp. I'll admit it. I got lazy with this one step and my ends have screamed at me in protest. They were splitting and knotting like crazy! I kept wondering what the heck was going on and now I know I was not taking the time to seal them after each wash. Now, I make sure I apply a pea sized amount, melted between my fingers, to the end of each big twist as I prepare the stretched style. When my ends dry, they are smooth and less likely to tangle on each other or knot up. I cannot neglect to do this or it's back to splitsville.

So, long story short, these few tweaks have totally changed my hair. Less time spent, less energy wasted, healthier scalp, and better ends and length retention. I feel like I'm back in control of this mane and it no longer controls me....or my weekends!

What if any routine tweaks have you recently made that you can share for the good of the group?

Are Your Natural Hair Purchases Making You Unhappy?

As someone who works in education, I don't make a lot of money. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining at all. I'm simply stating a fact. Having to live on a budget requires self-control and discipline. It means choosing between the brown boots or the grey boots instead of indulging in both. It also means limiting the products I buy for my face, body and especially my hair.

This got me thinking about how as Americans we live in a consumer-based culture. Simply put, we buy buy buy, consume consume consume, and that is what makes our economy go 'round. Every day some new gadget pops on the market, there is a new fashion trend to be hip to, and we are continually introduced to items promising to make our daily lives easier than ever before. I suppose there is nothing wrong with seeing shiny, new objects and lusting after them from time to time. But does buying them make you happy? Does that hole ever get filled? Are you really better off because you swiped the latest and greatest whatever off the shelves and carted it home?

I decided to google "consumer culture" to see what I could find. As I imagined the internet is littered with articles about the economy and how we Americans have become mindless consumers. I found one article in particular, however, that hit home to me. Entitled, Six Psychological Reasons Consumer Culture is Unsatisfying, it aims to break down why what we buy never feels like enough.

In thinking back over my own natural hair journey, I realized that I have fallen prey to many new products out there promising to do all sorts of things for my hair. It was very fun in the beginning to test out different potions and lotions, oils and creams for my newly kinky do. After all, we were just getting to know each other after decades of distance and I wanted to indulge in all that was available, hoping to find the perfect combo of products to meet all my hair's needs. There were so many choices though and sometimes that was frustrating. I can't tell you how many $5 and $10 (or more) I threw away after buying something that simply did not work or turned out to be less than awe inspiring to my tresses.

( I'm not knocking Sally's but....just say NO! I usually always come out of places like this with way more than I intended when I went in. Now I only venture inside if I have a specific list of things I need and don't allow myself to add anything to my cart that does not fit that description.)

So, after reading through the six reasons listed in this article, I thought I'd revamp them to apply to my own experiences with natural hair pj-ism. Here's what I came up with:

1. Products are easy to compare unfavorably -

With so many products promising to do similar things, it is almost impossible to avoid comparing what you just bought to the new almost-the-same-but-somehow-still-different product that comes out. I have gone through endless moisturizers and creams. I just threw away a few full-sized bottles a few days ago because of this ingredient or that scent. It kills me to know how much money I wasted on those!

2. A maximizing strategy leaves us less satisfied-

Basically, with so many options out there for hair products, sometimes it has been tempting to try everything that came my way so I could feel like I made the best decision for the care of my hair. Instead of sticking with a conditioner that I know works wonders, I felt the need to keep trying new ones thinking that that next bottle of creamy goodness would magically be better than the one that came before and solve my moisture, detangling, (you fill in the blank here) issues. It was as if I would be doing myself a disservice if I did not try as many things as possible before settling on one staple product. Somehow, however, I always keep coming back to the one I loved from the beginning.

3. Material purchases are more likely to be reevaluated-

How many times have I bought something good only to keep lurking online for alternatives? Plenty. It's like a maddening cycle of getting all excited the try the new thing, rushing out to buy it (or worse, spending an extra chunk of change to have it rush shipped because I have no patience to wait for things ordered online), then felt the familiar pang of disappointment when I see something similar out there, begging to be tried as well. Sadder than that is seeing that if I had only searched one site further I would have found it on sale, a few dollars cheaper, or with a free gift included. Way to make yourself feel like a lazy shopper!

4. The new option effect-

Along the same lines as mentioned above, every time I buy a new product, another one comes out that has been "re-formulated" or upgraded to have better ingredients, scents, or whatever! Knowing that re-inventing the wheel, slapping a prettier label on it and selling it all over again is one of the trademarks of marketing, it never fails to make you feel like you might be missing out on something if you don't ride the upgrade wave.

5. The reduced price effect and 6. A cheaper rival-

Pretty self explanatory but it hurts none the less...

So, do I say all this to pass judgement on you for doing the above things? No way! I myself am guilty as charged and lose no sleep admitting it. So what is my advice to myself ? Well, the last part of the article suggests we go for the experiential versus the new purchase. I guess in the natural hair world that means opting to spend your money more on the 'goings' and 'doings' and less on the latest bottle 'o goo. For example, I had a fab time at the natural hair show in Atlanta a few years back and have felt no sense of disappointment for going. It was a wonderful experience to see all that naturalness in one place! It was also super fun to try a beautiful cornrowed or twisted do for a few days/months back when I was in college and when I got my afro twists. I loved each and every natural hair meet-up I've been to (and those were free by the way!), not to mention I learned a lot and met cool people.

Bottom line- stick with the things that money can't always buy, like experiences (natural meet-ups, free info on blogs and sites, experimenting with friends to find new styles) and splurge every now and then when you just can't resist. Find your fab five product rotation (or less if you got it like that!) and don't sway from them every time the wind blows a new item your way. You'll likely find that you're happier when you do and not to mention you'll keep a bigger portion of that paycheck to spend or save for other things.

Afrobella on Essence!

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How exciting!!! Like many of you, I love visiting Afrobella.com to check out the latest on hair, beauty, and fashion. Essence, as you know, has been inching toward natural issues with chats, articles, and beauty features. So now they have a new feature entitled Natural Hair Journey by Patrice Grell Yursik, the author and creator of Afrobella.

Her first feature is up so check it out! I feel like Patrice will give a good perspective about natural hair to Essence readers. It's amazing how this movement really is spreading across the internet and beyond. Some have wondered if natural hair is just a trend and I know better! I think we are finally getting to a place where we are embracing our full selves and this is more than just a political statement, a here today gone tomorrow kind of thing.

So, mosey on over and check her out. If you submit your own pics and story you might even get featured. Way to go Patrice!

Hairspiration: BeautifulBrwnBabyDol Tries a New Twisting Method

One of my favorite YouTubers, Nina of BeautifulBrwnBabyDol, has added a new video showcasing her latest natural style. I have truly enjoyed watching this young woman's journey through her videos over the past couple of years. I remember watching her first videos about kinky twist extensions and it amazes me how far her hair has come since then! Not to mention that she has launched a new site where she offers advice and tips about hair and health. Really cool!

Most naturals are familiar with two-strand twists as they are a wonderful protective style and can last anywhere from a few days to a few weeks depending on the person.The last set of mini-twists I did were a lot of fun. They lasted a long time and kept my hair protected. It was great to just get up and go each morning and they afforded me a wide variety of "up" and "down" styles. I like the method Nina offers where she actually braids the base of each twist. I am going to try this the next time I venture toward mini-twists because I did have issues with the hairline becoming fuzzy and I like the look of her clean parts.

So check out BeautifulBrwnBabyDol's latest twist vid below and tell me what you think. Will you give this technique a try? Thanks for reading and happy twisting!

Natural in the News

I just saw this video over at BGLH and wanted to repost it here in case you missed it. I think aside from the media and all that, the biggest influence over our children's self esteem and self-perception comes from the people closest to them. That goes for weight, skin color, and hair. Take a look and share your thoughts.

Is FEAR getting in your way?

What was your biggest fear about going natural? Was it realized once you finally chopped or completed your transition? What would you have told yourself one, three, six months ago that you know now? Finally, what words of wisdom do you have for others who are afraid to take that step to natural?

Reader Email: A Big Chop!

Last week I received a very sweet email from one reader. Here is what she had to say:

Ok your blog was one of my GREATEST inspirations...I had literally stressed about my hair for a year and on Sunday I decided I was ready to chop it! I attached a before and after!

Thanks for providing such motivational content!

She attached a few pics to showcase her new do. I was inspired by her chop and thought you all might be too. So, I invited her to share with us all for the good of the group and share she did! Take a look at these shots and read her thoughts on going natural.

Choosing to go natural was stressful, primarily because I am a bit anxious when it comes to decision making. I had so many worries: What will my hair look like? What will people think? Can I look pretty with short hair? Nevertheless, I had my last relaxer on October 22, 2009. After transitioning for a year, I finally mustered the courage to do the BIG CHOP on October 10, 2010. The breaking point: my hair was unmanageable! The two textures were literally at war and I couldn’t handle it. Plus, I am at a place where I feel confident regardless of my hairstyle. Perhaps, the confidence is due to maturity. Maybe it’s because I lived without a relaxer for a year and was forced to manage unconventional hair. Either way, I feel great in my own skin. Throughout the transition, I had an excellent source of encouragement. My closest friend went natural a year ago and her hair is amazing. She is obsessed with natural hair products, styles, etc. She reminded me that I lead a healthy life, so I should have healthy hair. The notion that “nice looking hair” is achieved by damaging chemical treatment is oxymoronic. For inspiration, I searched natural hair blogs, like Naturally Leslie. The beauty of natural women overwhelms me. Long kinks, short afros, tight coils, loose curls, it doesn’t matter; everyone looks absolutely gorgeous with their natural hair. It’s only natural that women glow with their natural hair, because that’s the way we are born and how we are meant to look. I look forward to another rewarding journey as my natural hair takes it course. I am beyond excited.

Thanks for sharing with the NL community!

Is Your Natural Hair Too Much Work???

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I love looking around You Tube to get hair inspiration. Lately I have been looking for different versions of mini braids, kind of like the ones I had a last year, to wear to Cancun. I didn't want to spend money getting them done again and I was looking for other natural ladies who did mini braids themselves.

One channel I found featured a young woman who had recently put in a set of pixie braids on her short natural hair. I remember thinking how beautiful she is and how well the style suited her face. I kept watching the video over and over, partly because her hair was amazing (and I wish I had tried that when my hair was that length) and partly because I just though the colors of her scarf, earrings and skin looked so rich together.

So, a few days ago, I go back to her channel to see more of her videos and to hopefully see more cute styles. Imagine my surprise when the first video I see, the woman on the screen is sporting a straight, flipped do. It was very cute but clearly not "natural"! At first I thought, oh so it looks like she straightened it out for a change or a length check or whatever. Then, I pressed play and realized what I should have surmised from the title! It clearly says Natural to Relaxed.

Now, I know plenty of women go natural then go back to relaxing their hair. Happens all the time. Some of you probably have done the same at some point. I guess what surprised me the most was that she felt her relaxed hair was easier. Don't get me wrong, I have heard that same sentiment expressed from countless other natural-back to relaxed folks. That is usually followed by naturals who condemn or try to make the person feel like they just didn't give it enough time or they were somehow complicating it for themselves. I mean, who are we to judge another person's lifestyle, routine, time management, etc? Sometimes, usually when I'm detangling, I feel like my hair is a lot of work too! I don't believe that relaxing would ever be an option for me again but I see that it is for other women.

So my questions are for you all. First, do you ever feel like your hair is more work now than when you were natural? Second, are there any ladies out there who are currently relaxed or who locked to get away from dealing with a bunch of loose natural hair?

Side note: Still in Cancun. It's LOVELY! If you've never done an all-inclusive before, put it on your list! I will share some pics when I get back and internet is limited here so I might not get to moderate all your comments/answer emails immediately. But I will get to them as I can so please don't stop sharing your thoughts.

Reader Question: A Guy's Quest for the "Lenny" Look

I love when the male readers of Naturally Leslie write in with a question! It's always cool to get a guy's perspective. Here is a message I received from D requesting help to get the Lenny Kravitz look and my response follows below.

Hello,

So I stumbled across your website looking for hair styles for black men. I was happy to see your piece on natural hairstyles, particularly the afros. I'm looking to grow my hair out this summer and was looking for some advice seeing as how I've always kept my hair short. Looking to change things up a bit and saw some really interesting styles I would like to try out but am not entirely sure how to go about executing them properly. I've attached a a couple of photos, how my hair looks now and how I would like it to look (Kravits). Thanks so much for all your help and I look forward to your reply.

Warm Regards,

D.

Hi D!

Thanks for your email. I am glad that you stumbled on my site and I hope you find it helpful. I think it is cool that you are trying something new for the summer, what better time?! So, it looks like your hair is currently quite short. To get the Lenny look your first step is to continue growing your hair out all over. To maintain a somewhat neat look, you could continue to edge up around the front hairline, the sideburns, and the nape of your neck. While you are growing out your hair, you will need to invest in some haircare products to keep your hair healthy. What kind of shampoo/conditioner do you currently use? I don't like to make assumptions but many guys I know just use whatever they find lying around! If that is not the case for you, I would get these basics:

1) A sulfate free shampoo of any kind (you can get these at most health food stores and at some places like CVS, Wal Mart, Target, etc)
2) A moisturizing conditioner (my faves are Herbal Essences Hello Hydration [Target, Wal Mart, any retailer], Pantene, etc.
3) A Leave In/Moisturizer- Carol's Daughter Hair milk is a good one that is light and moisturizes without leaving your hair greasy, Cantu Shea Butter Leave In
4) A light natural oil/butter- I use a small bit of raw shea butter that I emulsify in my hands. I also like jojoba oil or olive oil. You can get these at a health food store or the grocery store.

I would shampoo no more than once a week but you can do steps 2-4 as often as you like. This will keep your hair and scalp healthy as your hair grows out over the next few months.

Now, once you reach the desired length of hair, you can style it in many different ways. You can simply run your hands through it or massage the curls with your fingers to get the piecey look that Lenny has. If you want a more defined coil pattern, you can make small coils with your fingers when your hair is wet, allow it to dry, then separate. That will give you a more chunky, defined look.

I hope these tips help and please let me know if you have any more questions. I get many questions from women but it is always nice to hear from the men who visit the site too!

Take care,

Leslie

If you have any tips for D, add them to comments below!

Making (Curly) Memories!

This is a great idea for anybody out there in need of some inspiration. So often in the media we see images that only validate one or a few types of beauty. Although the industry is changing, it is easy to get caught up in the allure of a beauty unlike your own. Is this to say that straight hair or a certain other body type is bad? No! Of course not. It is ALL good.

So, I found this idea on plantfolk.wordpress.com/ and wanted to share with all of you. I especially like it for moms and dads to do with their kids as a fun project. Imagine sitting down with your little ones finding beautiful images of people who look like you! Or, if you are a newly natural woman or man out there needing some positive images of natural beauty, this could be an idea book where you store inspirational pics of varying hair styles.

If you're in to scrap-booking, you could even add words or your own texts, backgrounds, etc. Of course, the images above are just one example of how your could do this and the images could be of anything, not just hair.

It looks like all you need are:

~ A 3-ring binder

~ Scissors

~Colorful background paper

~Glossy magazine pics or images from the web

~Glue

So there you have it! A simple, fun way to embrace natural beauty. Have fun!

Natural Pressure...Keeping it in Perspective

If you are new to natural hair, you might feel pressure to conform and learn everything you read or hear. That is too bad because for so many, going natural is about being free from conforming. With the growing natural hair blog and vlog presence, a whole new world has emerged with product lists, terminology, length issues, texture issues, etc. I recognize that I am a part of that world and that's ok. I hope I do not contribute to any folks out there who are just starting out and beginning to feel overwhelmed by what seems to be another heap of expectations. I have been natural for so long now that sometimes I forget what it was like to just chop off all my hair or struggle to find products that worked for me. I forget what it was like to fear rejection by co-workers and peers. I forget that feeling of walking out into society with huge hair for the first time, and what it was like to feel what seemed like a million disapproving eyeballs burning a hole through the fro. I enjoy writing here and giving tips, ideas and thoughts about hair. If I have written or said one thing that helps another person out then I am satisfied. In the end though, it really is a personal journey that does not have to live up to anyone else's expectations or goals. You really have to have your own goals and know that at the end of the day it is YOUR hair. So you don't want to follow a 6 month protective style challenge? Fine. Don't want to spend hours memorizing good vs bad ingredient lists? Don't! Cause why trade in one set of rules and pressures for another? That sucks.

If I had to give my readers any advice about how to deal with pressures in the natural hair kingdom, it would be these. (And in the vein of this post, you can take them, leave them, not even read them. Nobody's word should be your master.)

1. Read all you want (blogs, you tube, sites, etc) but at the end of the day take from it only what seems good and reasonable to you.

2. Try products that are suggested if you want to but don't feel pressure to do so if you're happy with what you like or if your routine works just fine.

3. Bandwagons can be fun but once they are no longer so, jump off!

4. Length, texture, etc are fun to explore if you are doing it without putting undue pressure on yourself. Once you feel stressed about it, let it go.

I guess I could think of more but you all are intelligent, free-thinking, beautiful people who don't need someone else giving you a long list of do's and do-not's.

I truly appreciate all of you who read, comment, and support this blog. It started out as something fun, as a way to share my journey with you. It has become such an inspiration to me to hear about all of you. Please don't stop reading, posting, commenting and sharing your stories. I love you all!

Random Hair Pics...

Just a few random pics of styles I've done over the last few weeks.

This was a low bun I did with Fantasia IC gel. Once the low puff was secured, I two stranded it in small sections then tucked them with an elastic.

Two strand twists- I did these on dry hair with CocoShea mix.

A puff. I used the Dr. Miracle's Leave In for the puff part and while it looked ok, it was dry and crispy. Eeewww...crispy hair! For the edges I used some IC gel and Ampro Ice gel.

A Twist Out... For this I used Fantasia Aloe IC gel and some CocoShea mix I made.Soft, shiny, defined...loved it!

Nourishing Hair Butter- A Review

Hey guys and gals! A few days ago I received a 2 oz sample of Nourishing Hair Butter in the mail. The company is called Nature's Indulgence and was founded by Dionne Murphy.

The ingredients are listed as:

Herbal Infused Water, Aloe Vera Juice, Shea Butter, Virgin Coconut Oil, Aloe Vera Gel, Sweet Almond Oil, Avocado Oil, Olive Oil, Jojoba Oil, Steric Acid, Vegetable Emulsifying Wax, Glycerin, Optiphen, Vitamin E, Essential and Fragrance Oils and Grapefruit Seed Extract.

As you all know, I have my hair in box braids which I got about a week ago. This past weekend I spend some time in VA where it was really cold and dry. I decided this would be a good time to try out the product and see what benefits it could add to my hair.

The night before I left, I washed it and blotted dry. I added my conditioner on top and let my hair dry. After it was dry, I took a good sized dollop, about a quarter, in my hands and emulsified it. I applied it to the length of the braids on one side and added a little extra to the ends. I repeated this all over my head until each section of braids was moisturized.

The first thing I noticed about this product is the smell. It is light and fresh and almost fruity in a way. The texture is light and whipped. It absorbed quickly into my hair and left behind the lovely scent which was present but not overpowering.

Overall, I like this product. It is a nice light moisturizer but probably not enough by itself if you really like heavy creams for your hair. I would use this under an oil probably. I will have to try it again after I take my braids out to see how my hair like it for twists and other loose styles.

Thanks to Dionne for the sample and good luck with your business.

If you'd like to check out her other products, visit her blog and site!

And You Thought YOUR Chop was Big!

Check out this lady! Can you imagine? I have not such guts. I cannot begin to know how it feels to be straight up bald and I will probably never know. But she is amazing. If you were on the edge about losing a few inches of hair, take a look at this. Her attitude about her beauty is so positive and I hope you can gain some inspiration from her.

Check it out and let me know what you think!

A Relaxed Opinion

I personally do not ever want to relax my hair again. I am not opposed to people who do, although I know it's not for me. When my hair was relaxed, it was beautiful and healthy, for the most part. My decision to go natural was more about the fact that I felt the need to "fix" something that I had come to believe was broken. The transition was sparked by the feel of the crinkles and waves that would sprout from my scalp in-between relaxers. I became soooo curious about my natural texture and just wanted to know what it was all about.

I found this vid on youtube about a young woman who has gone from natural to relaxed. She is fed up! Admittedly, there is a debate out there about some women who feel relaxed hair can never be healthy hair. I personally think it is really really hard to maintain a healthy head of chemically processed hair, especially if length is a goal. I can't think of the last time I saw what I considered to be beautiful relaxed hair. That is just my opinion. But it does not mean it does not exist.

I think the point of her rant is more that people should have the choice to be natural or relaxed and women should not make other women feel bad, no matter what they choose.

So, have you ever engaged in a "natural vs relaxed" debate? If so, who was it with and what conclusion did you come to? Do you think relaxed hair can be healthy hair?

Our Golden Girl Starla is Back!

...And she was gracious enough to do a quick interview about her natural experience, her wedding, and she even included a few casual shots!

NL: Starla, thanks for taking the time to talk with me about your beautiful hair and your fabulous wedding! I loved the overall style of your big day. How did you decide on the colors, the dress, and the flowers?

I think that the most important thing about our wedding was that it completely reflected who we are both as individuals and as a couple. I was really NOT excited about planning a wedding--my mama didn't have a big wedding, I had never been in a wedding, and most weddings that I have been to didn't really reflect the couple. So making the day "ours and us" was most important. It actually wasn't until I discovered OBB, that I realized that we could do whatever we wanted!

As for the dress, my Grandma made it for me! I am so lucky that I have her. Really, it's a super simple dress with badass fabric--for about 1000 dollars less than a traditional wedding dress. I initially wanted a birdcage veil, but realized that what I really wanted was a big ass feathery headpiece, so I ended up making all the hairpieces. Flowers--we got lots of flowers from a local farm, and both my friend Naomi and my mother-in-law grew lots of beautiful flowers. Naomi did all the arrangements--I didn't really have much to do with the flowers, I just trusted my friend to put together a giant, beautiful bouquet. And she did. We love old soul music, and wanted our wedding to have a throwback feel, but still wanted to look young and fresh.

NL: I love the fact that your beautiful natural hair was proudly on display at your wedding. What went into your decision to style your hair the way you did?

I did struggle a bit in how to do my hair. I am a pretty casual person (and somewhat lazy when it comes to hair), but I did want it look "done." I didn't really have a plan until the day of the wedding when my aunt started doing my hair. She brought over a small curling iron and some hairspray to try out a style she thought would look good. The minute she started curling it, I was like..."STOP!" We both decided that a little lift with the blow dryer was all I needed. The three cornrows were sort of impromptu.

NL: Have you always been natural? If so, did you feel any pressure to straighten or alter your natural texture for the wedding? If not, what is your natural hair story?

No, I have not always been natural, I have had a couple of different hair styles throughout my life: a jheri curl (fell out), a relaxer (fell out), braid extensions, and then I sort of came into myself, and went natural. I didn't really have any pressure to straighten my hair for the wedding... I think people knew better than to ask me that:)

NL: It was so cute and emotional how your husband looked at you on your big day. You must have felt like a queen. Tell us, what does your husband think about your hair?

Thomas and I have been together since I transitioned my hair about 6 years ago and he has witnessed everything from my insecurities to m pride. I think that he (especially being white) has learned how important hair can play in black women's lives. He has seen it matted to my head, freshly shrunk after swimming, cornrowed, twisted, blown-out, all that. And he wouldn't have it any other way. He doesn't run his fingers through it or anything, but luckily he doesn't care about that!

NL: When you're not all glammed up, how do you normally style your hair? What is your typical hair routine (like when you wash, condish, etc)? Are there any particular products or tools that you prefer?

Like I said earlier, I'm pretty lazy about my hair. I didn't realize how much work natural hair actually is! In the summertime, I wash it a lot more cause I swim alot (it's hot in Texas) or I leave it in cornrows. Any other time, I wash it once a week--I use Shea Butter Shampoo and Conditioner. For a long while, I was using almond oil, peppermint oil, and rosemary oil to keep it moisturized, but my hair is extremely kinky and dry, so I am trying out different products right now. Any suggestions? But on a normal day, I braid my hair in large cornrows overnight, unbraid and finger through....that's if I'm not wearing a headwrap. I love headwraps.

NL: Is there anything you would like to add for other potential natural brides out there?

I think that it's important to just be you. And there is no better place to be you than at your wedding in front of all the people who love you. If you are confident enough to wear your natural hair everyday, then you should wear it on your wedding day. Plus, natural hair is beautiful.

Thanks Leslie. Your blog is awesome. I'm honored!

p.s. the pics are everyday me. nothing to fancy. The one with Thomas and I is Honduras on our Honeymoon!

Wow! Thanks again to Starla (and hubby Thomas) for sharing hair tips and the big day with us! Click here to see more pics of this beautiful natural bride.

A Chop for the Cure!

I just saw this amazing video by youtuber femenistbabe and it blew me away. Not only is this girl amazingly beautiful and brave to shave her head, but she did it and found a way to give back to a good cause in the process! I especially loved watching her hair grow back in over the months following her chop. In my opinion, she looks absolutely gorgeous with and without hair. It just goes to show that the big chop, while a daunting and scary task for some, can be a liberating experience for others. I remember when I BC'd the second time, I really tried to enjoy my short hair as it grew back out.

Tell me what you think about the video and what your BC experience was like. Did you chop early or after a long transition? Do you have any regrets or are you happy with the way things turned out? Has anyone out there chopped again recently? Check out this vid for more pics of her chop!

I love hearing about your hairstories so please drop your two cents!