Reader Question: Style Help for Dry Hair, Damaged Hairline

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I received the email below from one 14 year-old Naturally Leslie reader:

Hi Naturally Leslie,

I am a huge fan of your blog and love reading your
post. I am currently fourteen and have been natural for a long
time,almost all my life. Only recently have I really begun to care for
my hair. It has been difficult lately because my mother is a
hairbraider and aften braids my hair in weave(usually kinky twist) so
I don't really have much time to control my hair. Although I do wash
it and try to moisturize I am having difficulties moisturizing and
finding styling options. My hair is really fine and since I've worn
braids for a long time my hairline is severely damaged. I don't know
how to style it because of my hairline dilema or what products to use
to moisturize. I'm thinking about purchasing aussie moist for my hair
as a conditioner and leave in conditioner would this be a good idea? I
would love it if you could possible help me find some suitable
hairstyles and product.

Thank you very much.

I know so many of you here know a ton about how to have healthy natural hair so please weigh in and leave you advice in the comments section!

To learn more about dealing with the issue of hair thinning, click here.

What's Your Opinion: My Honey Child Products?

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I received a request via my Facebook page regarding My Honey Child natural hair products. I have never tried this line and therefore have no idea what the products are like. So, I thought I would turn it over to you. Has anyone tried anything from this line? If so, what is your opinion? Would you buy again or recommend to a fellow natural? Help us out!

Reader Email: Fired for Being Natural

I received this email in my inbox from Jess of Sincerely Jess and wanted to share. I personally have never had issues professionally with my natural hair. I've worked in pharmacies (in high school and college), as a teacher and now as a school counselor. I've had temp jobs in corporate America. I've worn it long and bushy, in puffs, cornrows, two-strand twists, buns, straight, wavy, in wash-n-go's, and even short like the woman in the reader email below. I would be so livid about someone insinuating that my naturally growing hair is somehow inappropriate that I would probably get fired for my response! Well...maybe not quite that bad, but I would be seriously offended and would go to HR for discrimination.

So read the email I received below and share your thoughts in the comments section.

I’m outraged. A good friend of mine’s job is in jeopardy because she chose to BC and grow out her natural hair. No, this picture isn’t my friend I’m respecting her privacy (well…a lil bit) but she has short hair like this, except more curly. Anyway, my friend’s–I’ll call her KC– boss is saying that it violates company policy because her hair is not “well groomed” and that patients (she works in a Dr. office) have been complaining. Her boss has been more than outrageous in her response to KC’s hair from the very beginning being vocally unsupportive, derogatory, and snide. Not that KC necessarily needed support from her boss, but who would have thought that such discrimination would come as the result of going natural.

Who doesn't love a TWA?

I wonder how many of my other naturals have faced harsh reception in their place of work over their choice to go natural? I know in my place of employment, my coworkers, supervisors and really everybody in my building that has seen me has been fascinated by my curly journey. They touch my hair, question my process, and ask me tons of styling question. One coworker even started wearing her hair naturally as well, and now we often get mixed up.

In the black community, I’m constantly surprised at how we discriminate against one another. Now, with KC’s boss, she actually suggested (publicly, in front of patients and staff) that KC get a perm, put in weave, braids, etc and even offered to “find her a stylist” to which KC declined. I just would not know how to act if my boss was so actively concerned with my hair!!! Her boss is black, and I guess reading so many natural hair blogs I forget that not everyone is supportive or even tolerant of the natural hair movement. Being the psychotherapist (in training) that I am, I have to wonder what kind of self-hate this boss has going on that spurs her to act so cruelly.

It is a hard enough journey to learn to love your TWA, get used to the BC, and begin loving how you look without blow-in-the-wind relaxed hair. Then add on top of that someone in your life at least 40 hours a week telling you that you don’t look good or professional, telling you that there’s something wrong with your hair…its just discouraging and arouses all sorts of emotion in me. Have you guys had to deal with this sort of thing at work?? What did you do??

P.S. if you have been harassed at work because of your hair, check out the EEOC‘s discrimination complaint form. Natural community this is NOT okay, so speak up!!

Reader Question: Where Can I Find A Good Salon for Locs in ATL?

UPDATE: Many folks probably want to know where good natural hair salons are in their area. If you have not already seen this site, check out Black Girl With Long Hair's Salon directory of tried and BGLH-approved salons. I personally cannot endorse or recommend any of them because I have not been to any salons. But, this might be a nice starting point to get you going. Good luck!

Photo Credit
Got another reader question that I am throwing at you! I am not in ATL but I know many of you are. If you know somewhere good please help this lovely reader out!

Found your website as i was reading about products. Great site btw :) curious if you know any recommendations for natural hair salons in Atlanta just moved here from Virginia and other than a few male friends that's pretty much it (and they are all bald :) although i'm the only one that has touched my locs for the past 3 years it would be nice to go somewhere to get my hair washed and scrubbed hard..you know how they do in the shops that's pretty much all i really miss about letting someone else do my hair.

any recommendations would be appreciated

thanks..peace...

So if you have a spot or person in mind, leave the info in the comments section. Thanks guys!

Reader Question: A Guy's Quest for the "Lenny" Look

I love when the male readers of Naturally Leslie write in with a question! It's always cool to get a guy's perspective. Here is a message I received from D requesting help to get the Lenny Kravitz look and my response follows below.

Hello,

So I stumbled across your website looking for hair styles for black men. I was happy to see your piece on natural hairstyles, particularly the afros. I'm looking to grow my hair out this summer and was looking for some advice seeing as how I've always kept my hair short. Looking to change things up a bit and saw some really interesting styles I would like to try out but am not entirely sure how to go about executing them properly. I've attached a a couple of photos, how my hair looks now and how I would like it to look (Kravits). Thanks so much for all your help and I look forward to your reply.

Warm Regards,

D.

Hi D!

Thanks for your email. I am glad that you stumbled on my site and I hope you find it helpful. I think it is cool that you are trying something new for the summer, what better time?! So, it looks like your hair is currently quite short. To get the Lenny look your first step is to continue growing your hair out all over. To maintain a somewhat neat look, you could continue to edge up around the front hairline, the sideburns, and the nape of your neck. While you are growing out your hair, you will need to invest in some haircare products to keep your hair healthy. What kind of shampoo/conditioner do you currently use? I don't like to make assumptions but many guys I know just use whatever they find lying around! If that is not the case for you, I would get these basics:

1) A sulfate free shampoo of any kind (you can get these at most health food stores and at some places like CVS, Wal Mart, Target, etc)
2) A moisturizing conditioner (my faves are Herbal Essences Hello Hydration [Target, Wal Mart, any retailer], Pantene, etc.
3) A Leave In/Moisturizer- Carol's Daughter Hair milk is a good one that is light and moisturizes without leaving your hair greasy, Cantu Shea Butter Leave In
4) A light natural oil/butter- I use a small bit of raw shea butter that I emulsify in my hands. I also like jojoba oil or olive oil. You can get these at a health food store or the grocery store.

I would shampoo no more than once a week but you can do steps 2-4 as often as you like. This will keep your hair and scalp healthy as your hair grows out over the next few months.

Now, once you reach the desired length of hair, you can style it in many different ways. You can simply run your hands through it or massage the curls with your fingers to get the piecey look that Lenny has. If you want a more defined coil pattern, you can make small coils with your fingers when your hair is wet, allow it to dry, then separate. That will give you a more chunky, defined look.

I hope these tips help and please let me know if you have any more questions. I get many questions from women but it is always nice to hear from the men who visit the site too!

Take care,

Leslie

If you have any tips for D, add them to comments below!

Reader Question: Products for Hold

Here is the lady in question showcasing her lovely locks. Isn't she gorgeous! Keep the help coming, you guys are great!

We have another reader question that I'm sure applies to many. I myself have experienced this and, especially in the tricky NC climate, I have wondered what different products could yield the best results to really set a twist out.

I have been natural for about 10 years now, but like you I'm still learning new things! Earlier in my natural phase I would use products for my twist out that wouldn't be healthy, but my twist outs would last up to a week. Now that I use unrefined shea butter, the hold is not so great. Do you have any tips on making the twist out last longer and preventing shrinkage? Do you twist every night? I usually only twist the front and top area at night, but I miss the length that I get from a new twist out. Any advice would be appreciated.

My thoughts: I used to use products that are now considered unhealthy for my hair (like petroleum based products/gels with high alcohol content) and I also love my CocoShea mix. But, like you say, my twist outs don't always hold as well, especially when there is any humidity in the air.

So, I have tried using different gels/stylers to stretch the time between twists and I also re-twist certain sections at night as needed to re-set the curl.
My favorite gel is IC Polisher Aloe gel and I use this mixed with just a little bit of coconut oil on the length of my hair (sometimes I use Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose conditioner as a leave in under the coconut oil if I feel I need more moisture). I save the CocoShea for the ends as a sealant moreso than a twisting agent, if that makes sense. The gel seems to set the twists better and my results last longer. Some people use a conditioner as a leave-in/styler which provides them with a little hold.

During the colder months, I can get away with using the CocoShea mix on the entire length of my hair if I choose, and I get pretty good results. But again, that is with no humidity in the hair. During the summer, I almost have to re-twist every night no matter what, because my hair just likes to swell. I actually don't mind that much unless I am going for a particular look.

So I am calling on you again, NL readers, what do you do to set your twist outs for long lasting results?

***Also...don't forget to send me your list of tried and true products/hair type/texture for my master "go-to" list! Check out this post for more details.

Reader Question: Heat Damage Solutions???

Naturally Leslie reader Sewing Stardom had this wonderful question and she needs our help. What would you do if this described your hair situation???

I have a hair issue maybe someone can help me.

Ok so i have been natural my whole life, but i have been using heat to get my hair straight since i was about 11 or so. My hair used to be kinky and curly(i hated it then) but now i want that texture back. sadly my hair is no longer as tightly curled as it once was. Now when I wash my hair it is curly on one side, puffy on some parts and wavy/straight on others. I'm craving that naturally curly hair i once had. I do braid outs and twist outs and all those other styles but I want the natural hair back without all the effort those styles take. Do you guys think I should just chop of my hair and start from the beginning? i feel like I have no hope now. I can either cut it, deal with it or use more heat to get it all one texture....(sighhh) i need advice.

As you may remember, I suffered from some minor heat damage and decided to chop it all off about 2.5 yrs ago. It was just easier to me and I wanted to experience the "big chop" again. That worked for me and I enjoyed working with my hair as it grew to different lengths. Here I am 2.5 yrs later with MORE hair than I had before I cut it. It has been a joy for me to watch my hair grow and thrive in such a short amount of time, and I really liked finding new styles for my hair at all the "in-between" lengths.

I know chopping is not the best choice for everyone as some women like to retain as much length as possible when growing out a perm or damaged parts. But I don't think continuing with heat straightening is the best way to go either. Further damage will only make you more frustrated and could lead to permanent hair loss.

So...Naturally Leslie readers, what do you suggest? If you want to weigh in and give your two cents, please submit a comment. I'm sure this lovely reader is anxious to hear your thoughts!

Reader Question: "The Dog" Hairstyle

One reader asked:

Wonderful hairstyles! How did you do the one where you're holding the dog...?

I guess this hairstyle is the closest I got to a frohawk, which I love btw. For this particular style all I did was a regular two-strand twist out. I took each side and pulled it up toward the crown area. I then adjusted it securely with a large bobby pin, one on each side. Back then, the front was short enough that it kinda hung like a bang but I wanted it to be off to one side so I pinned it over. That was it! I really liked this style and it worked great when my hair was that length. Hope this helps!

Reader Question: 2010 Natural Hair Show

Hey guys and gals! Just got a reader question from NaturallyME that I thought you all might want to know the answer to. So here it is!

Where can I get information for the 2010 show? Do you know where it will be held?

I enjoyed it so much last year that I am sure I'll probably go back. Here's what I found:

Spring 2010 TBA Americas mart buidling One 240 Peachtree Stree NW Atlanta, GA

This is an all natural hair show for braiding, coils, locs, color clipper cuts, and more.

Want more hair shows??? Click here to find one near you.

Reader Question - Micro City Twists in NY?

Hey guys and gals, a Naturally Leslie reader needs your help! I received a question about this style and the reader would like to know where she can get it done in NY:

Salon Tres Belle

You may be familiar with this Atlanta salon, it is where I got the pic previewing the afro twists I wore a few months ago. The style looked pretty natural and it was a nice break from doing my hair.

*So if you know where this lovely reader can get the style pictured above in NY or what kind of hair is used, please shoot me an email or post the info in the comments section. Thanks!*

Reader Question - Trimming Natural Hair

One reader sent me a lovely email with this question:

How do you know when it is time for a cut vs. a trim?

I truly think this depends on how your ends look, feel, and how often you use heat. Also, if you manipulate your hair frequently with tools (combs, brushes, pics, etc) it may require that you attend to your ends more. If you notice splitting, multiple single-strand knots (fairy knots), or bubbles in your strands, I would trim them off. Some people opt to ignore those pesky fairy knots while others can't stand them and hack them off whenever they pop up.

Since being natural for 10 years, I rarely ever CUT my hair (I mean over an inch at a time). I did once for style purposes by cutting my BSL hair into an above-the-shoulders bob. Then, of course, I cut it again 2 yrs ago due to severe heat damage. Since then, I have not cut off more than an inch at a time. I personally like to snip the ends of my twists every few months or so. I don't have an actual schedule but if things start looking weird (which they don't too often considering I don't use much heat at all), I just twist up and take 1/8th-1/4th of an inch. If you have really bad ends, you might want to take an inch or so off and then be very careful about protecting them in the future.

Here are some sites that offer tips to trimming/dusting/cutting natural hair; I've excerpted parts that I found to be particularly helpful:

Clutch Mag Online
I would describe dusting as cutting less than an inch of your ends. When my ends start to feel crunchy, or I hear popping when I detangle, or start to see tiny hairs in the sink that are not old shed hairs (with white bulbs at the tips) I dust my ends. I usually do this about once every two to three months. Some people follow lunar cycles when it comes to trimming/cutting their hair. They cut on certain days of the week to lengthen, strengthen, thicken etc. hair. I can not testify to it’s results, but it is a good way to keep a hair trimming routine. Check out Morrocco Method International’s downloadable lunar haircutting chart.

Long Health Hair Advisor and Here
If you wear your hair straight - even occasionally - you'll want to have your hair trimmed when it is straight. How straight do you need it to be? Well, it depends. You can get your hair trimmed with a blow out or you can have it flat ironed bone straight for a trim. Trimming natural hair when it's straight will provide a more precise trim that is also visually appealing when your hair is worn in straight hair styles.

Also, if your hair tends to knot around itself at the ends, you will need to trim more often than someone who does not have that problem - despite using heat. Generally speaking, a schedule of 2-6 months should be used depending on your personal goals, styles, and hair condition.

MotownGirl

Nappturality Forum
On damp hair, make small to medium sized twists all over your head. Twisting your hair like this will also help you really get a chance to feel all of your ends. Split ends, knotted ends, frayed ends -- if you have any, your hair will feel really rough when you get to the ends of your twists. Snip your ends.

Natural Black Hair Care
With one hand, hold the comb, and insert the comb into the section of hair. Gently pull up the comb until only the ends of the hair are sticking out of the teeth of the comb. With the other comb use high quality hair scissors to clip the ends of the hair. Repeat for each section.

Perfect Dreadlocks
The best way to cut it is like a flower, cut it at an angle and then put a rubber band around the tip and rub the tip against the palm of your hand everyday for about 2 days and then take the rubber band out.

And of course, for all you visual people out there, check out these You Tube vids for more trimming how-to's:
Rustic Beauty (LUV HER!)
SapphyreDreams

How do you guys trim your hair? Or do you prefer to have a stylist do it?

Reader Question - Aphogee Treatment

One reader asked:

Hi, I had a quick question. You blogged about using the Aphogee 2step treatment in January. I know you liked the results, but did you ever do it again? I am looking for a intensive protein treatment.

Well, like I told her in my response email, NO I did not use it again. The real reason has nothing to do with the results. I cannot stand the stinky smell of that stuff. I figure if I feel the need to protein-it-up again I can find plenty of other sources. Plus, I had a cut on my finger and it burned the living daylights out of me! I felt like I had acid on my head and I was fearful of getting it into my eyes. Many people love the stuff and if you do, great! I just won't be going there again.

Before you do protein though, take a look at this vid. I thought it was interesting because, like InspiredCoils, I did the treatment not really feeling sure that I actually needed it. She raises good points about looking at what you are already using for protein content.



This video is great. She gives a shout out to a bunch of my fave products, Herbal Essences Hello Hydration Conditioner, Infusium 23, aloe vera gel, vegetable glycerin, castor oil, and coconut oil. She also sort of addresses pj'ism by talking about trying to use all products in the cabinet before buying new ones. Again, this is a great rule, but she brings up a good point. If it ain't working, DITCH IT!!!! It is not worth sacrificing the health of your hair to save a buck.

A lot of people are talking about protein but here are a few links to some blogs I found to be pretty helpful:

http://thenaturalhaven.blogspot.com
and
http://thenaturalhaven.blogspot.com/2009/06/size-matters-protein-conditioning-part.html (check out parts one and two)

http://www.curlynikki.com/2009/02/protein-sensitivity-revisited.html

http://motowngirl.com/