Are Your Natural Hair Purchases Making You Unhappy?

As someone who works in education, I don't make a lot of money. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining at all. I'm simply stating a fact. Having to live on a budget requires self-control and discipline. It means choosing between the brown boots or the grey boots instead of indulging in both. It also means limiting the products I buy for my face, body and especially my hair.

This got me thinking about how as Americans we live in a consumer-based culture. Simply put, we buy buy buy, consume consume consume, and that is what makes our economy go 'round. Every day some new gadget pops on the market, there is a new fashion trend to be hip to, and we are continually introduced to items promising to make our daily lives easier than ever before. I suppose there is nothing wrong with seeing shiny, new objects and lusting after them from time to time. But does buying them make you happy? Does that hole ever get filled? Are you really better off because you swiped the latest and greatest whatever off the shelves and carted it home?

I decided to google "consumer culture" to see what I could find. As I imagined the internet is littered with articles about the economy and how we Americans have become mindless consumers. I found one article in particular, however, that hit home to me. Entitled, Six Psychological Reasons Consumer Culture is Unsatisfying, it aims to break down why what we buy never feels like enough.

In thinking back over my own natural hair journey, I realized that I have fallen prey to many new products out there promising to do all sorts of things for my hair. It was very fun in the beginning to test out different potions and lotions, oils and creams for my newly kinky do. After all, we were just getting to know each other after decades of distance and I wanted to indulge in all that was available, hoping to find the perfect combo of products to meet all my hair's needs. There were so many choices though and sometimes that was frustrating. I can't tell you how many $5 and $10 (or more) I threw away after buying something that simply did not work or turned out to be less than awe inspiring to my tresses.

( I'm not knocking Sally's but....just say NO! I usually always come out of places like this with way more than I intended when I went in. Now I only venture inside if I have a specific list of things I need and don't allow myself to add anything to my cart that does not fit that description.)

So, after reading through the six reasons listed in this article, I thought I'd revamp them to apply to my own experiences with natural hair pj-ism. Here's what I came up with:

1. Products are easy to compare unfavorably -

With so many products promising to do similar things, it is almost impossible to avoid comparing what you just bought to the new almost-the-same-but-somehow-still-different product that comes out. I have gone through endless moisturizers and creams. I just threw away a few full-sized bottles a few days ago because of this ingredient or that scent. It kills me to know how much money I wasted on those!

2. A maximizing strategy leaves us less satisfied-

Basically, with so many options out there for hair products, sometimes it has been tempting to try everything that came my way so I could feel like I made the best decision for the care of my hair. Instead of sticking with a conditioner that I know works wonders, I felt the need to keep trying new ones thinking that that next bottle of creamy goodness would magically be better than the one that came before and solve my moisture, detangling, (you fill in the blank here) issues. It was as if I would be doing myself a disservice if I did not try as many things as possible before settling on one staple product. Somehow, however, I always keep coming back to the one I loved from the beginning.

3. Material purchases are more likely to be reevaluated-

How many times have I bought something good only to keep lurking online for alternatives? Plenty. It's like a maddening cycle of getting all excited the try the new thing, rushing out to buy it (or worse, spending an extra chunk of change to have it rush shipped because I have no patience to wait for things ordered online), then felt the familiar pang of disappointment when I see something similar out there, begging to be tried as well. Sadder than that is seeing that if I had only searched one site further I would have found it on sale, a few dollars cheaper, or with a free gift included. Way to make yourself feel like a lazy shopper!

4. The new option effect-

Along the same lines as mentioned above, every time I buy a new product, another one comes out that has been "re-formulated" or upgraded to have better ingredients, scents, or whatever! Knowing that re-inventing the wheel, slapping a prettier label on it and selling it all over again is one of the trademarks of marketing, it never fails to make you feel like you might be missing out on something if you don't ride the upgrade wave.

5. The reduced price effect and 6. A cheaper rival-

Pretty self explanatory but it hurts none the less...

So, do I say all this to pass judgement on you for doing the above things? No way! I myself am guilty as charged and lose no sleep admitting it. So what is my advice to myself ? Well, the last part of the article suggests we go for the experiential versus the new purchase. I guess in the natural hair world that means opting to spend your money more on the 'goings' and 'doings' and less on the latest bottle 'o goo. For example, I had a fab time at the natural hair show in Atlanta a few years back and have felt no sense of disappointment for going. It was a wonderful experience to see all that naturalness in one place! It was also super fun to try a beautiful cornrowed or twisted do for a few days/months back when I was in college and when I got my afro twists. I loved each and every natural hair meet-up I've been to (and those were free by the way!), not to mention I learned a lot and met cool people.

Bottom line- stick with the things that money can't always buy, like experiences (natural meet-ups, free info on blogs and sites, experimenting with friends to find new styles) and splurge every now and then when you just can't resist. Find your fab five product rotation (or less if you got it like that!) and don't sway from them every time the wind blows a new item your way. You'll likely find that you're happier when you do and not to mention you'll keep a bigger portion of that paycheck to spend or save for other things.

I just saw this and wondered what you all think....

"Unlike Black Barbies of yesterday that appeared to have more Anglo facial features and hair texture, S.I.S. vary in complexion, coiffs and physical attributes with fuller lips, distinct cheek bones and wider noses.The dolls which range in price from about $8 to $25 features fashion forward BFFs Grace, Kara and Trichelle who are all about having a good time, but not before sharing their wisdom with the next generation. In the spirit of mentorship, McBride-Irby created a "little sister" for each of the dolls with diverse interests including music, math and science. Each doll's hair can be styled with the help of new Auqa curl technology which allows them to go from straight to curly with a spritz of a water bottle and hairstyling tools." for the whole article click here on Essence.com

Update: Good Hair on Entertainment Tonight!

*****UPDATE******

So the "preview" wasn't long but it was interesting to see the ladies talking about their weaves. Raven-Symone shifted hers from side to side which made me chuckle. Then they got into the issues of touching a Black woman's hair, putting the hands in the hair, and sex with weaves. Eh.
I still want to see it though so October 9th it is. Did anybody else catch the clip? What did you think?

Here's the trailor for Good Hair, which interestingly enough is being called a comedy. I guess I thought it was going to be a more serious, thought provoking documentary. But, with Chris Rock, I suppose it would be hard not to inject his classic humor. I hope it brings more than just laughs though considering how many women really suffer from low self esteem and self hate due to struggles with beauty. Take a peek:

*****UPDATE******

If you tune in quickly, for the next 30 mins, you can catch a first glimpse at Chris Rock's Good Hair film. I'm gonna watch and let you know what I think later!

Random Thoughts on "Frou Frou" Weddings...

Dumb Dumb du Dumb...that's how I feel about elaborate, extravagant, over-the-top, leave you in debt weddings! Don't get me wrong, I love TLC's Platinum Weddings as much as the next chick but I can not imagine dropping $10K, $15K, or the national average of $28K (OMG!!!) on one day! This is not a judgment of those who have had large weddings and spent that kind of money. I just can't stop thinking about my student loans and car payment and the fact that I don't even own a home.

I believe the wedding industry, like most other industries these days, have romanticized American life and created this notion that the more you spend, the happier you'll be. They like to push the idea that it's the only day you get to dress up like a princess and have a 4-tier vanilla buttercream cake with a sparkly initial topper while dancing on a dance floor lit with your customized monogram as your 300 guests dine on a 5-course meal at a table with custom centerpieces made from special roses flown in from Ecuador! What happened to the days of getting married at the church and having a cake and punch reception in the little hall downstairs? My grandmother married my grandfather at the courthouse and they were thrown a dinner at a friend's house later that evening. They stayed married until my grandfather passed a few years ago. I asked her why they didn't have a wedding and she said it was partly due to it being the second marriage for both and partly to save money. But she did not have a wedding the first time and neither did he. My aunt and uncle eloped to the JOP also and while they were here this Thanksgiving I asked her if she regretted not having a wedding. She said absolutely not! They have been married for 40 years. My boyfriend was recently in a wedding and a few months before that we went out with the couple and some other friends to dinner. They were talking about their weddings, the other couple was already married, and they all said to elope! The stress of planning along with the chunks of money spent of invitations, locations, etc was apparently not worth the magic of the one dream day. I told my boyfriend to ask the groom after the wedding if he would still advise eloping. He did. Surprise surprise.

I guess the bottom line is if you have it and wanna spend it go right ahead. But if you don't really have it but wanna spend it just to look like you have it and because it is what you always dreamed of, you might want to reconsider. Don't throw reason out the door just because a bloodthirsty wedding consultant with dollar signs in her eyes tells you this is your one special day and you deserve it. Take some deep breaths and refocus. House or wedding? No student loan debt or maxed out credit cards? I know many people who have had lovely low-key weddings that left them just as married as anyone else but with money left over to start their lives together. Just food for thought.

If you were a bride and had a big wedding, did you regret anything? Would you do it again? If you had a small wedding or planned on a tight budget how did you do it?