NL: Tell us about your wedding day look (attire, decor, hair)
Bride Besangie with her mother
The guys wore gray tuxes with orange ties. The florist knocked it out the park with multi-color gladiolas and roses, and orange and yellow calla lilies at the ceremony and reception. I even had my shoes airbrushed the color of the bridesmaids dresses (with our names and the wedding date on the back!).
I had my dress made in Pittsburgh. I wanted dupioni silk, pockets, and a simple but classic design (that didn't make me look like a sex kitten or cinderella). While in the stores, dupioni silk was extra expensive, I found a seamstress that could buy the fabric and make the dress for a reasonable fee. The woman did an outstanding job for $600, and the shoulder had potato pearls and swarovski crystals. It took about 6 months to make, but worth it.
My hair was a whole 'nother story! I am natural, so I had a ton of options but each had a "worst case scenario". A press was ruled out because I like to dance and when I dance I sweat. A lot. So that just would have been a waste of money. I could have done two strand twists, but I wear those on a regular basis, and wanted something different. Cornrows were out of the question as I didn't think they were formal enough. A nicely sculpted twist-out could have been done, but I wasn't sure I wanted to wear that either as I often rock the twist out. Also, with the sweat, I wasn't sure what my twist-out hair would do and I didn't want any surprises. I have never worn weave, and I didn't want to start then, so that was out too. I finally decided on the flat twists (the single roll, not two strand). I wanted my hair up, so I told my stylist. For my consultation, I brought the hair accessory I found at Clair's for about $5 and the veil I made out of mesh fabric, 2 hair combs and hot glue. It all worked out! The day was beautiful, and we had tons of fun! My dress stayed on, my hair was in place, and I danced til I was sweaty and my feet hurt!
NL: Have you always been natural? Tell me about your hair history.
B: The best way to tell this story is by age...0-16: Natural
-My mom was natural, and my friends either were natural or had presses so in my mind it wasn't a huge deal to be natural. My mom and I went to the salon together (if she didn't do mine at home), and we had a good time watching movies together and learning about hair.
16-22: Cut it short, permed
-I was ready to do something different and wear it straight and short. So I went to the salon after talking with my mom (who lovingly told me, "its just hair babe, do what you want.") and cut it off. The style was flattering and I sometimes let it grow out to a bob. The maintenance was tough, my scalp got burnt, but I thought it was worth it for the look. Also, during college I didn't really want to transition to natural, as it seemed like a lot of work. I learned that my hair wasn't really strong enough for relaxers so I often had breakage, even though it looked healthy.
22-26: did a big chop, back to natural
-I cut off my relaxed hair my first year of graduate school. I figured I would be there for 5 years, so this was the time to do it. I grew it out for about 3 months, and then went to a salon and had him cut it off. It was a little shocking to see just my head with no hair, so he gave me tiny comb twists for free to make me leave (as I was glued to the chair from shock about what to do next). It grew out and I loved it. I wore two strand twists, cornrows, flat twists, the twist out, presses, and afro-puffs. Then one day I went for a trim, and she cut it too low...
26-28: cut it short, permed
-After the bad trim, I said to myself, "since it is as short as when I first cut it off 4 years ago, I might as well get a relaxer and wear my short style again". I wore the style and loved it again for another 2 years. During that time, I became more aware of the chemical issues of relaxers and how they really were unhealthy. I started reading the labels of products and paying attention to when my hair would break off. I tried to maintain it for as long as I could until it just got to be too much work. I wanted my natural hair back.
28-30: did a big chop, back to natural
-I had recently moved to Pittsburgh and decided it would be a good time to cut my hair off again after being there only 4 months. The stress of moving had caused major breakage to my lovely relaxed quaff, and I was trying to refine my budget. I decided I didn't want to go to the salon every 6 weeks. Not that natural hair doesn't need salon care, but I didn't want to have to be dependent on salon care. I went to my stylist who was caring for my relaxed hair and had her cut it all off. Again. She gave me a cool afro that she left long at the top and shorter on the sides. I have been growing it out natural ever since!
NL: What styles do you typically wear now? What is your routine?
B: I usually wear two-strand twists or twist-outs. I love the soft look that they give and the versatility with the styles. On occasion, I will go and have it two-strand flat twisted as well. My routine is pretty simple: I wash it every 1-2 weeks (usually closer to 2) with Aubrey's Organics shampoo and conditioner (I really like the White Cameillia). While it's still wet, I spray on Talia Waajid Mist Bodifier along with raw unrefined coconut oil, unrefined sweet almond oil, and raw shea butter. Depending on how I feel, I will either twist it, dry it into an afro, or put it in balls so that it can dry and I can style it later. I also use curlformers from time to time, but the look never lasts. Every 3-4 months, I trim my hair by two strand twisting it very small and dusting off the ends. I used to get it pressed to get a trim, but the press would frizz after going to the gym, and even worse, some parts would stay straight even after I washed my hair a few times, making it hard to twist.
NL: What does you hubby think of your hair? How did he feel about the style you chose for your wedding day?
B: When I did the first big chop to being natural, he was a little worried and was rooting for it to grow out. After about 3 months, he could feel how soft it was and see how fast it was growing and he became natural hair's biggest fan. When I returned to permed hair, he liked it because it was very flattering and more of what he saw on other women/the norm, but he agreed it wasn't as soft and healthy. When I did my second big chop, he was all for it! Now he loves my hair, and often says he is going to learn to twist so he can play in it. He is learning more about healthy living and realizing that relaxers are full of harmful chemicals, so he is all the way in with the natural hair.
As for my wedding style, he loved it. It was different than what I normally wear, and I didn't have to mess with it/be in a mirror all the time. He could touch it freely and it was out of my face (which he likes), so it was perfect!!
NL: What does you hubby think of your hair? How did he feel about the style you chose for your wedding day?
As for my wedding style, he loved it. It was different than what I normally wear, and I didn't have to mess with it/be in a mirror all the time. He could touch it freely and it was out of my face (which he likes), so it was perfect!!
NL: What is the best thing about being natural?
NL: Is there anything else you would like to share with Naturally Leslie readers?
Looks like it was a glorious occasion. Thank you Besangie for sharing your day with us!
For those of you out there planning your own nuptials, check out Besangie's blog Guerilla Brides for cool tips!
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