Hair Envy.... :-(

Hey ya'll! This past weekend was awesome! I think I got some great shots of the 100th birthday party so I will post about that a little later.

But something else that has been on my mind for quite a while lately and that is hair envy. You know what I mean. I have been reading different forums and blogs about natural hair and from time to time I run across a comment that makes my skin crawl. One in particular was from a young lady speaking in reference to the hair of another woman whose texture was significantly looser than her own. I don't really do the hair typing thing but let's just say the fotki owner was probably a 3-something texture and the comment came from a 4b-ish textured reader. I guess that's about the difference between being curly and kinky. Both women had lovely hair. But "4b" said, "Oh your hair is so lovely, I wish I had that texture". Ok, so maybe that's not the end of the world as we know it. But it was surprising to read in plain English right there on the girl's comments section. Maybe if she had said, "Oh your hair is lovey, great texture!" or "Oh your hair is lovely, beautiful definition!" or something like that it would not have bothered me so much. But that fact that one woman wished her natural hair was like the hair of another woman made me wonder how comfortable she really is with herself. I think many of us choose to go natural because we are tired of fighting ourselves and we want to re-discover our natural beauty. In a society that does not tend to accept or hail us as being beautiful, it is up to us to reclaim that for ourselves. I don't know if she really meant to say what she said but I wonder how much she longs for straighter hair or lighter skin or whatever else that is not her idea of beautiful.

This was not the first time I have come across this type of comment. Some people talk about how they want their hair to mimic Tracee Ellis Ross's hair (when it is CLEARLY a different texture than their own) or they want to know which products will loosen the curl. I guess at the end of the day each woman has to make peace with what she's got and she must choose the styles/products that work for her. And I don't have the tightest curl pattern so I cannot judge those who have been socially conditioned to think negatively about their extremely kinky hair. We all have been made to think that way to an extent but I understand that this issue might be more sensitive for some than others. We all have color/texture issues to overcome and we are all at different points on this journey to natural hair and self acceptance. There are so many beautiful textures out there, why should we continue to classify and rate and compare?

Look at all these awesome textures!!!

They are all different but they are all beautiful! Remember, it's one thing to ADMIRE but it's another to ENVY or secretly desire something you can never have because you have been made to believe it is better. Doesn't that sound familiar???

What do you all think? How easy was it for you to accept your texture? Did you struggle or secretly wish to have a different texture? If so, how did you get over those feelings? What would you say to someone with your texture going through the same thing? On the other side, have you ever been made to feel guilty or not part of the natural hair community because your hair is loosely curly or wavy?
I ask not to judge but to see how other people view this subject. Let me know what you think and thanks for reading!