Raising girls...part two

My last post was meant to remind me (and my dear readers) of the importance of front loading the work of raising girls. I was simply overwhelmed in recent weeks by so many pubilc and private reminders of the consequences of girls not believing that they are worthy, both through our actions and our words.  But, I forgot to mention how HARD it is to raise girls (children, really). Not that I'm an expert, but it wasn't easy to raise me so I can start there.

Here's an anecdote that reminded me of how plugged in mothers and fathers need to be to see their little girls through the ups and downs.  A friend of mine named Danielle recently told me that her daughter was having problems in school.  I cannot recall the exact nature of the problems but suffice it to say, they were big problems in the little girl's world, and she would often cry at school.  But like most kids, when she comes home and mommy asks how school went her answer would always be "fine" regardless of what variation of the question you ask. So how did Danielle begin to assess how each day at school might have gone?

Mommy has to check her glasses to find out
how her day went

Well, her little daughter wears the cutest pink eyeglasses that she wears far up around her eyes as little kids do. She also has extra-long eyelashes that brush against her eyeglasses. So mom noticed rather quickly that on a bad day, tears were shed at school, and there would be tear stains brushed with her eyelashes against her glasses.  On a good day the glasses were clear. And this was mom's clue as to how the day might have gone --before she even asks specific questions about each day's activities. I will forever remember this because it told me one thing: Danielle is so plugged into her young daughter she doesn't necessarily need the long answers to "how was your day" to know how it went. At least not now. She looks for other clues and additional information to make her assessment.

It is hard to do this. It is hard to look for clues. It's easy to accept the first answer. But I have learned that developing the habit of constant communication comes in handy when the girls grow up, face bigger challenges, and close up even more.

One of the sad reminders for me of this topic was a young girl who committed suicide seemingly out of nowhere and was featured in the documentary Race to Nowhere which is about education in America.