A good evening to the 12 of you (or so) left still reading my dead, dead blog.
I've a very good reason for not blogging. That's right, I went ahead and did what I've always wanted. Some of you guessed it, others might be shocked beyond words: I took the plunge and had a sex change.
Wearing pink all the time, feeling a compulsive urge to buy fluffy, frilly stuff in order to hide my MANLY, MANLY self inside. I HAD ENOUGH! If God made me a man inside, then I decided I very well ought to go with his divine flow!!
I went to Thailand and had a synthetic penis surgically attached to me.
It measures 15 cm whenever I get randy, and 7 cm when floppy. I know, I know, it's so mediocre right? Well, you know what they always say - it's the girth and not the length, right, girls?!
Unfortunately, the girth of my new penis is like, erm, let me get horny first...
Ok back.
Like the size of a 20c coin.
Which is not very wide at all, but hey! It's a damn penis that was cut off by a vengeful housewife who was also very commercially attuned, so she quickly sold it off the black market at a whooping 1000 baht! 1000 baht can buy a lot of Tom yam maggi mee - which might bring her more enjoyment than a 20c coin penis, I guess.
The other penis choice I had looks like it's from a great-grandfather (even had a few strands of white, wispy hairs which I assume were pubes), so I went ahead and went with the vengeful housewife's one.
Thai women are often cutting off their men's penises, I heard.
I know I know, why can't I used penises from all the Thai trannies right?! That's simply not right - I'm a straight man and I refuse that my penis is gay.
So anyway, after the antagonizing surgery, I had to rest for precisely the amount of days I took not to blog. "What has your penis got to do with blogging?!" the 12 of you anxious stalkers must be asking indignantly.
My dears, everything! You are right! Now that I finally have a penis, I'm going to make the best of it and use it on everything! Including typing and holding frying pans near the hot flames.
Now, the question you people are all dying to ask. No no, not whether I can know fuck myself (you people can be so insensitive sometimes! God!), but I am now straight or gay?
CAN I EVER BE CLASSIFIED SINCE I AM AN HERMAPHRODITE? I'm so confused!
Anyway, I've got like 200 photos to post up. Don't ask your friends to come to my website, you 12 loyal no-lifers. If I think nobody is reading, then I can write juicy gossip.
p/s: Of course comments are not allowed.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Sunday, January 6, 2008
-_-
Happy new year y'all!
I can't believe it is 2008! No no, like literally. I think I either missed NYE countdown altogether as I was on various flights, or I slept through two countdowns (depending on which country's time zone you wanna use), so 2008 feels damn surreal coz there was no celebration to give it a big welcome.
Not that anyone really welcomes it, except maybe people who are, sorry, was 17 so that they can go into clubs this year.
I'm freaking 24 can? This year!
I AM OFFICIALLY MID-TWENTIES.
I cannot even twist the truth reasonably and say I am early twenties anymore!
When Forever 21 started, I was 20, and I went into that shop and felt I was dressing old - and then I turned 21 and I went in there and I was like, "This is apt, I AM 21."
AND NOW I'M STILL STUCK SHOPPING THERE, TOO OLD FOR THE BRAND!!!
I shall abruptly end this blog entry because I suddenly lost interest in writing it.
Check out new videos!
I give up the secret of how to bling your gadgets!! Gmask is going to be very, very displeased with me. Sorry la guys!! The producers forced me to tell the secret! They said they would kill Momo and let Cloudy be sodomised by the ugliest pit bull if I don't! And I'd be force-fed parsley juice (concentrated) and my accessories will all be taken away from me!
And how can I allow that? Never mind Momo and Cloud Cloud, but I TOOK MANY PAINFUL YEARS TO PROCURE ALL MY CHIO ACCESSORIES!
(They can be rather cruel at times)
(I am obviously just kidding, nobody is trying to kill you Momo.)
Last ep of the funniest news show ever! Well, way funnier than The Noose or whatever Mediacorp is doing, that's for sure.
That's coz I helped to produce it! This ep is all bloopers. Who would have thought Debbie and Howard are so funny when they deliver stuff wrongly?
You know, the image of Howard in a bald cap is just stuck in my head. Initially, I wanted to let him wear the highlighting cap - you know, like a bald cap except it has little holes in it for hairstylists to pull little strands of your hair through to highlight.
That's like infinitely uglier than a bald cap la, coz the cap's original colour is unknown due to it taking on various dye colours like red, brown, black etc! Muahahaa!
Except that the highlighting cap doesn't go in context. Oh well.
Gillian is right, it IS awesome to be on this side of the production sometimes.
I can't believe it is 2008! No no, like literally. I think I either missed NYE countdown altogether as I was on various flights, or I slept through two countdowns (depending on which country's time zone you wanna use), so 2008 feels damn surreal coz there was no celebration to give it a big welcome.
Not that anyone really welcomes it, except maybe people who are, sorry, was 17 so that they can go into clubs this year.
I'm freaking 24 can? This year!
I AM OFFICIALLY MID-TWENTIES.
I cannot even twist the truth reasonably and say I am early twenties anymore!
When Forever 21 started, I was 20, and I went into that shop and felt I was dressing old - and then I turned 21 and I went in there and I was like, "This is apt, I AM 21."
AND NOW I'M STILL STUCK SHOPPING THERE, TOO OLD FOR THE BRAND!!!
I shall abruptly end this blog entry because I suddenly lost interest in writing it.
Check out new videos!
XIAXUE'S GUIDE TO LIFE
I give up the secret of how to bling your gadgets!! Gmask is going to be very, very displeased with me. Sorry la guys!! The producers forced me to tell the secret! They said they would kill Momo and let Cloudy be sodomised by the ugliest pit bull if I don't! And I'd be force-fed parsley juice (concentrated) and my accessories will all be taken away from me!
And how can I allow that? Never mind Momo and Cloud Cloud, but I TOOK MANY PAINFUL YEARS TO PROCURE ALL MY CHIO ACCESSORIES!
(They can be rather cruel at times)
(I am obviously just kidding, nobody is trying to kill you Momo.)
NEWS ASIA ON THE NET
Last ep of the funniest news show ever! Well, way funnier than The Noose or whatever Mediacorp is doing, that's for sure.
That's coz I helped to produce it! This ep is all bloopers. Who would have thought Debbie and Howard are so funny when they deliver stuff wrongly?
You know, the image of Howard in a bald cap is just stuck in my head. Initially, I wanted to let him wear the highlighting cap - you know, like a bald cap except it has little holes in it for hairstylists to pull little strands of your hair through to highlight.
That's like infinitely uglier than a bald cap la, coz the cap's original colour is unknown due to it taking on various dye colours like red, brown, black etc! Muahahaa!
Except that the highlighting cap doesn't go in context. Oh well.
Gillian is right, it IS awesome to be on this side of the production sometimes.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Queebaby
Hello Everyone!
I have been a part of the SLs family since August 31, 2007. I invite you to read about my SISTERLOCKS - the trials, tribulations and triumphs.
http://queebaby.blogspot.com/
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Wendi's Sisterlock Journey
Hello My Sista's,
I am newly loc'd as of Dec 18,2007 and proud of it. I can't believe I waited so long. I decided to blog my journey because of all of the inspiration I received from looking at all of the other fabulous sites. I only hope that my experience will inspire others who are in the process of making a decision to loc and also be of interest to my fellow loc'd sisters. I truly feel like I am part of a very special community of people who are uninhibited, deliberate and authentic. (my words for 2008!)
Remember: The journey of a thousand miles begins with the 1st step! Join me on my trip......
Locz For Life
Greetings!
After months of lurking blogs about sisterlocks and pondering the best method for me to start my new set of locks, I have finally started my journey and my own blog. Although I fell in luv with sisterlocks, I decided to do them myself with braidlocz (after seeing a few other journies here). My braidlocz journey began 5-3-07. Feel free to stop by and follow the journey of a sister with fine/thin napps while I go from braids to locs!
*Click here to view blog
* Click here to view fotki album
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